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  1. if absolutely everything in this article happened, that would be amazing

    Comment by Brendan — July 9, 2010 @ 4:46 pm

  2. This idea is insane. Yankees are “The Decision” team every year, where every star players goes when they decide they can’t win on their own. (Or win on a team without a market share 3x that of the average team). They are getting Crawford.

    Comment by Jeff K — July 9, 2010 @ 4:48 pm

  3. Haven’t you ever heard of a point forward?

    Comment by Magic Johnson — July 9, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

  4. Wait, this isn’t April 1. What gives?

    Comment by Boomer — July 9, 2010 @ 4:49 pm

  5. Better check the Toronto water for LSD…

    Comment by walt526 — July 9, 2010 @ 5:01 pm

  6. Enjoyed this post, most people probably wont get it though

    Comment by CedarA — July 9, 2010 @ 5:06 pm

  7. The only problem with this scenario is MLBPA. In the NBA, nobody cares if a superstar takes less money than he can get since the players as a whole get their share because of the cap and the CBA. When baseball players give “hometown discounts” the union gets very upset and puts pressure on them to get as much as they can to keep the line moving forward.

    Comment by MikeS — July 9, 2010 @ 5:07 pm

  8. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t get this. But I do, and it kind of pains me.

    Comment by Keenan — July 9, 2010 @ 5:17 pm

  9. Brilliant

    Comment by bender — July 9, 2010 @ 5:26 pm

  10. The only thing missing is Crawford, Werth and DeJesus’s secret pact made at the 2000 World Series. Broseph’s For Life!

    Comment by Marc — July 9, 2010 @ 5:31 pm

  11. Thought it would stretch credibility for DDJ to be at the WS.

    Comment by Matt Klaassen — July 9, 2010 @ 5:55 pm

  12. Freaking hilarious, good work.

    Comment by SpokaneMsFan — July 9, 2010 @ 6:13 pm

  13. a) You obviously missed the fact that this entire post was a riff on the LeBron situation.

    b) The Yankees are not going after Crawford this offseason. They had planned to before this season, but the thinking now is that Brett Gardner is a capable major league outfielder who provides much of the value Crawford does at a fraction of the cost. The Yankees’ big free agent splash this winter will be Cliff Lee.

    c) If you’re complaining about the size of your team’s market, there’s a very easy solution to that. Move to New York. All the cool people have.

    Comment by JimNYC — July 9, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

  14. They’ll all just play “outfielder” and switch zones every third inning.

    Comment by Blue — July 9, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

  15. hahahaha great post! I hate what happened with Lebron in the NBA but I would love to see all three of these guys join forces in the outfield lol. Whats a team that could use an entire new outfield?

    Comment by Tim — July 9, 2010 @ 6:36 pm

  16. I am disappointed by the lack of Tony Lewis, John Spinks, and Alan Jackman.

    Comment by mechanicalTurk — July 9, 2010 @ 7:12 pm

  17. I thought it happened when they were overseas at the WBC?

    Comment by Christian — July 9, 2010 @ 7:13 pm

  18. lold at c

    Comment by hurr — July 9, 2010 @ 7:15 pm

  19. Great work Matt Klaassen. Mr. Reagins and I were laughing our pants off in the Angels front office. Umm… by the way is there any way I can pry Crawford away from his potential next team? You see, Mr. Crawford fits Angels Baseball and he’d be an upgrade over Johnny Rivers(Juan Rivera). Think about it CC, Torri, and Bobby. The big three!

    Comment by Michael Lorri Scioscia — July 9, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

  20. This was terrible and unfunny. Please don’t post more articles like this in the future.

    Comment by jack — July 9, 2010 @ 10:26 pm

  21. The article was mildly amusing to me. Articles out of leftfield can lighten the mood.

    Comment by Phantom Stranger — July 9, 2010 @ 11:55 pm

  22. I know. I hate laughing too.

    Comment by Jeff — July 10, 2010 @ 2:20 am

  23. As a Clevelander, I have recently disavowed the NBA, and am visiting this site almost exclusively to avoid the carnage which is my sports fandom, and I gotta say, this hurt. Let’s correlate some advanced metrics or something, whattya say?

    Comment by Andy — July 10, 2010 @ 2:40 am

  24. Daniel Gilbert, is that you?

    Comment by Derek — July 10, 2010 @ 2:49 am

  25. Too soon.

    Comment by ABravesFan — July 10, 2010 @ 3:00 am

  26. Yes, indeed. Who called?

    Comment by Daniel Gilbert — July 10, 2010 @ 3:07 am

  27. How about an OF of doom is Crawford came to Seattle? Having Guti, Ichiro, and then Crawford in the OF, nothing would be dropped. That would be an OF of Doom.

    Comment by sktgamerdudejr — July 10, 2010 @ 4:34 am

  28. Now this is comedy.

    Comment by Cameron — July 10, 2010 @ 6:32 am

  29. Wish ESPN could have put together an hour long special on the Cliff Lee trade. At least that would have had a surprise ending.

    Comment by Judy — July 10, 2010 @ 6:45 am

  30. Yeah, but it wouldn’t make for a hack-tastic post like I did above.

    For comedy potential, I think Crawford might not add enough to the cool-but-non-hilarious Gutierrez, although Ichiro is awesomely funny when he “turns it on” (e.g., All-Star game pep talks). DDJ is okay, his rare interviews are filled with about 25 “like ya know”s, which is nice. Jayson Werth’s beard and “brah-dom” would also make for a great bookend along with Ichiro:

    http://3.ly/KqX7

    Comment by Matt Klaassen — July 10, 2010 @ 8:43 am

  31. this is hilarious!
    seriously though, if someone could get crawford and werth, that would be an insane offseason!

    Comment by Astromets — July 10, 2010 @ 3:01 pm

  32. I admit I was slow to get the joke until, “I think the obvious starting point is that is will be in a state known for its rich MLB tradition: Florida” Thereafter I started laughing and haven’t stopped. Thanks!

    Comment by neuter_your_dogma — July 10, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

  33. hahahaahahahahhaha

    Comment by padresrule!! — July 10, 2010 @ 3:42 pm

  34. From now on whenever I see Chris Bosh I will instantly think David DeJesus.

    Comment by tdp992 — July 10, 2010 @ 6:07 pm

  35. Good work on the ComicSans, Gilbert.

    Comment by Nick — July 11, 2010 @ 2:46 am

  36. They did. And it was more than a freakin’ hour long.

    Comment by frozendesert — July 11, 2010 @ 6:35 pm

  37. If ya think about it, NYY have come pretty close to this. Within a ~2 year span they will have added: CC, AJ, Teixeira, Granderson, Crawford, Lee, and Vazquez.

    The big diff is they didn’t have to clear the roster to do so. They were able to retain ARod, Posada, Jeter, Cano, etc.

    It’s pretty amazing to consider how much of their “Starting 14″ will be acquisitions over a ~2 year span. They also signed the “Big 3″ en route to a title … What the heat are trying to do.

    That’s probably about as close to an MLB comparison as one could get unless a team acquired Pujols, Mauer, and Halladay in the same offseason.

    Comment by CircleChange11 — July 11, 2010 @ 9:23 pm

  38. i c wat u did der

    Comment by wafflecopter — July 12, 2010 @ 2:17 am

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