Daily Notes: CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline

Table of Contents
Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of the Daily Notes.

1. CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline
2. Today’s MLB.TV Free Game
3. Today’s Complete Schedule

CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline
Regarding the Title of This Post
In 1996, very talented fiction writer George Saunders released his first book, CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, which book was described that same year in a New York Times review by influential novelist Jay McInerney as the “most accomplished short-story debut since Barry Hannah’s Airships” and, in a postcard sent by Carson Cistulli to Saunders himself three summers later, as “better than Nintendo.”

On the Relevance of Saunders’ Book, Part I
Primarily, the reference here to Saunders’ book is designed to broadcast the present author’s own familiarity with Important Fiction, such that he might impress upon the readership how he (i.e. Carson Cistulli) is sophisticated and very sophisticated.

On the Relevance of Saunders’ Book, Part II
Beyond establishing his bona fides so far as the study of literature is concerned, the author’s reference in the title to Saunders’ book has additional import. Those who are familiar, for example, with CivilWarLand will know that most of the stories in it — including the title one — concern absurd and fictional theme parks overrun by chaos and sadness. Those who are familiar additionally with the present column will know that, within it, the author has dedicated considerable coverage to the Corey Kluber Society — i.e. an absurd and fictional organization which has become overrun of late by chaos and sadness in the wake of Kluber’s most recent ineffective start.

An Example of Chaos and Sadness Within the Society
Here’s a comment from reader Danny Knobgobbler during the most recent meeting of the Society:

The [Alex] Gordon slam did it for me. I hereby rescind my membership to the Corey Kluber Society. Cistulli, you can expect an invoice for my fantasy entry fee if this clown costs me the title.

Another Example of Chaos and Sadness Within the Society
Here’s a second comment, this one from reader jB4s7, also submitted during that same meeting:

Next start is DET. I think I want off this ride.

Regarding the Straits in Which the Society Has Found Itself
It would be fair to describe the straits in which the Society has found itself as “dire.”

Regarding Corey Kluber, His Talents Presently
Despite his recent difficulties, Corey Kluber remains one of the league’s best starters by park-adjusted xFIP — ahead, for example, of Clay Buchholz, Cliff Lee, Clayton Kershaw, Derek Holland, and Shelby Miller.

In Conclusion
In conclusion, the author would like to announce a meeting today (Sunday) of the Corey Kluber Society, at 1:05pm ET, which meeting is intended for those who possess a singular enthusiasm for the works and days of Cleveland right-hander Corey Kluber.

Today’s MLB.TV Free Game
Seattle at Cincinnati | 13:10 ET
Joe Saunders (100.2 IP, 108 xFIP-, 0.1 WAR) faces Bronson Arroyo (110.2 IP, 113 xFIP-, 0.8 WAR). Nick Franklin Status Update: 143 PA, 8.4% BB, 17.5% K, .290/.350/.473 (.327 BABIP), 133 wRC+, 1.1 WAR.

Readers’ Preferred Broadcast: Seattle Radio.

Today’s Complete Schedule
Here’s the complete schedule for all of today’s games, with our very proprietary watchability (NERD) scores for each one. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and RotoWire. The average NERD Game Score for today is 5.5.

Note: the following table is entirely sortable.

Away   SP Tm. Gm. Tm. SP   Home Time
Jason Hammel BAL 3 9 5 4 5 NYA Hiroki Kuroda 13:05
Doug Fister DET 7 7 8 8 10 CLE Corey Kluber 13:05
Scott Diamond MIN 3 3 4 7 5 TOR Todd Redmond* 13:07
Joe Saunders SEA 2 5 3 3 3 CIN Bronson Arroyo 13:10
Kris Medlen ATL 5 8 5 1 4 PHI Jon. Pettibone 13:35
Robbie Erlin* SD 7 7 7 1 10 WAS St. Strasburg 13:35
John Danks CHA 7 1 7 10 9 TB David Price 13:40
Jeremy Hefner NYN 4 6 4 4 4 MIL T Gorzelanny* 14:10
A.J. Griffin OAK 5 6 4 6 2 KC Luis Mendoza 14:10
Jose Fernandez MIA 10 1 7 4 6 STL Lance Lynn 14:15
A.J. Burnett PIT 7 7 6 5 4 CHN Carlos Villanueva 14:20
Erik Bedard HOU 0 2 3 3 5 TEX Justin Grimm 15:05
Clayton Kershaw LAN 9 2 6 6 3 SF Chad Gaudin 16:05
Roy Oswalt* COL 10 8 8 2 8 AZ Patrick Corbin 16:10
John Lackey BOS 7 7 5 6 3 LAA Jered Weaver 20:05

To learn how Pitcher and Team NERD Scores are calculated, click here.
To learn how Game NERD Scores are calculated, click here.
* = Fewer than 20 IP, NERD at discretion of very handsome author.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Since it is Sunday: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Cabrera, I will fear no home runs: for Corey Kluber art with me; thy two-seamer and thy curve they comfort me.

I’ve played him only once this season and yeah, I only own him in one league remaining. But, in the immortal words of Fred Durst, and none before him, “You gotta have faith.” Started.


That’s sacrilegious.


This post is an oddly prophetic omen now. Cabrera homers to left on first pitch seen.

Spencer D
Spencer D

I sang that in a choir not long ago.