Daily Notes: CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline

Table of Contents
Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of the Daily Notes.

1. CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline
2. Today’s MLB.TV Free Game
3. Today’s Complete Schedule

CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline
Regarding the Title of This Post
In 1996, very talented fiction writer George Saunders released his first book, CivilWarLand in Bad Decline, which book was described that same year in a New York Times review by influential novelist Jay McInerney as the “most accomplished short-story debut since Barry Hannah’s Airships” and, in a postcard sent by Carson Cistulli to Saunders himself three summers later, as “better than Nintendo.”

On the Relevance of Saunders’ Book, Part I
Primarily, the reference here to Saunders’ book is designed to broadcast the present author’s own familiarity with Important Fiction, such that he might impress upon the readership how he (i.e. Carson Cistulli) is sophisticated and very sophisticated.

On the Relevance of Saunders’ Book, Part II
Beyond establishing his bona fides so far as the study of literature is concerned, the author’s reference in the title to Saunders’ book has additional import. Those who are familiar, for example, with CivilWarLand will know that most of the stories in it — including the title one — concern absurd and fictional theme parks overrun by chaos and sadness. Those who are familiar additionally with the present column will know that, within it, the author has dedicated considerable coverage to the Corey Kluber Society — i.e. an absurd and fictional organization which has become overrun of late by chaos and sadness in the wake of Kluber’s most recent ineffective start.

An Example of Chaos and Sadness Within the Society
Here’s a comment from reader Danny Knobgobbler during the most recent meeting of the Society:

The [Alex] Gordon slam did it for me. I hereby rescind my membership to the Corey Kluber Society. Cistulli, you can expect an invoice for my fantasy entry fee if this clown costs me the title.

Another Example of Chaos and Sadness Within the Society
Here’s a second comment, this one from reader jB4s7, also submitted during that same meeting:

Next start is DET. I think I want off this ride.

Regarding the Straits in Which the Society Has Found Itself
It would be fair to describe the straits in which the Society has found itself as “dire.”

Regarding Corey Kluber, His Talents Presently
Despite his recent difficulties, Corey Kluber remains one of the league’s best starters by park-adjusted xFIP — ahead, for example, of Clay Buchholz, Cliff Lee, Clayton Kershaw, Derek Holland, and Shelby Miller.

In Conclusion
In conclusion, the author would like to announce a meeting today (Sunday) of the Corey Kluber Society, at 1:05pm ET, which meeting is intended for those who possess a singular enthusiasm for the works and days of Cleveland right-hander Corey Kluber.

Today’s MLB.TV Free Game
Seattle at Cincinnati | 13:10 ET
Joe Saunders (100.2 IP, 108 xFIP-, 0.1 WAR) faces Bronson Arroyo (110.2 IP, 113 xFIP-, 0.8 WAR). Nick Franklin Status Update: 143 PA, 8.4% BB, 17.5% K, .290/.350/.473 (.327 BABIP), 133 wRC+, 1.1 WAR.

Readers’ Preferred Broadcast: Seattle Radio.

Today’s Complete Schedule
Here’s the complete schedule for all of today’s games, with our very proprietary watchability (NERD) scores for each one. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and RotoWire. The average NERD Game Score for today is 5.5.

Note: the following table is entirely sortable.


Away   SP Tm. Gm. Tm. SP   Home Time
Jason Hammel BAL 3 9 5 4 5 NYA Hiroki Kuroda 13:05
Doug Fister DET 7 7 8 8 10 CLE Corey Kluber 13:05
Scott Diamond MIN 3 3 4 7 5 TOR Todd Redmond* 13:07
Joe Saunders SEA 2 5 3 3 3 CIN Bronson Arroyo 13:10
Kris Medlen ATL 5 8 5 1 4 PHI Jon. Pettibone 13:35
Robbie Erlin* SD 7 7 7 1 10 WAS St. Strasburg 13:35
John Danks CHA 7 1 7 10 9 TB David Price 13:40
Jeremy Hefner NYN 4 6 4 4 4 MIL T Gorzelanny* 14:10
A.J. Griffin OAK 5 6 4 6 2 KC Luis Mendoza 14:10
Jose Fernandez MIA 10 1 7 4 6 STL Lance Lynn 14:15
A.J. Burnett PIT 7 7 6 5 4 CHN Carlos Villanueva 14:20
Erik Bedard HOU 0 2 3 3 5 TEX Justin Grimm 15:05
Clayton Kershaw LAN 9 2 6 6 3 SF Chad Gaudin 16:05
Roy Oswalt* COL 10 8 8 2 8 AZ Patrick Corbin 16:10
John Lackey BOS 7 7 5 6 3 LAA Jered Weaver 20:05

To learn how Pitcher and Team NERD Scores are calculated, click here.
To learn how Game NERD Scores are calculated, click here.
* = Fewer than 20 IP, NERD at discretion of very handsome author.




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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.


38 Responses to “Daily Notes: CoreyKluberSociety in Bad Decline”

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  1. KillahYeast says:

    Since it is Sunday: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Cabrera, I will fear no home runs: for Corey Kluber art with me; thy two-seamer and thy curve they comfort me.

    I’ve played him only once this season and yeah, I only own him in one league remaining. But, in the immortal words of Fred Durst, and none before him, “You gotta have faith.” Started.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Will says:

    And what is Strasburg the patron saint of?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Alexander Nevermind says:

      People who feel the need to make those unoriginal saint comments like it is the first time “St.” has ever been used to abbreviate Stephen in Daily Notes

      Vote -1 Vote +1

    • FirstCasualtyofWAR says:

      He is the patron saint of quality footwear.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Fear not, Cistulli: I, too, feel both sophisticated and very sophisticated for recognising the meaning of the title. Your story about writing Mr Saunders a postcard, “better than Nintendo,” is excellent. This is the sort of fan-mail I would hope one day to receive.

    Did Mr Saunders reply, or was he too bruised by the comparison?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. uj1120 says:

    Dire Straits – “Sultans of Swing” … Detroit Tigers … arrgh… don’t like the way this is lining up. I dropped him but reserve the right to pick him back up. Do I get to retain an auxiliary membership? Hey, Edwin Jackson got a win yesterday!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. eddiegaedel says:

    Unfortunately, the Detroit Tigers are much better than the Cleveland Indians :( Even Kluber can’t change that

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Kevin says:

    With all these doubting Thomas’ surrounding the KCS I think we could agree that an above-average start today would be nothing short of a miracle to restore faith in Corey Kluber. I, for one, still believe. I mean, he’s not technically “starting” for my team today but… well, there’s is this middle reliever in that slot of my lineup and…. I…. forgot my password. But if not for that!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. J says:

    Considering the McInerney reference, I will consider this headline (http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20130706&content_id=52787304&vkey=news_mlb&c_id=mlb) a sign of good fortune on Kluber day.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. nfein says:

    I have Kluber and Fister. This game is not starting off well for me…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Sarge6 says:

    Hrm. CK’s live instant xFIP after 2.0 IP (34 pitches) is 3.28.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Alexander Nevermind says:

    This fan of Kluber since ’03 will never leave the Society.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. Nate says:

    I traided for him and and started him today. Kluber rewards the faithful.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. jswede says:

    Next meeting’s gonna be crowded – maybe you can get the gym or lunchroom?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. Jeff says:

    Corey Kluber, with his 10K and 70+ GB%, grows tired of your lack of faith.

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. Danny Knobgobbler says:

    Cistulli, will you be closing fangraphs audio episodes this week with “Kluber lives!” – an homage to Marc Maron?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. MLB Rainmaker says:

    Just when I think Kluber couldn’t possibly be any more hittable, he goes and does something like this…..and totally redeems himself!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. Jason Giambi says:

    I gave CK some of my secret potion today. Did you see him throw those three almost consecutive 97 MPH fastballs to Cabrera? It never lets ya down I say.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. hamjenkinsIII says:

    She said ‘Can you get my friends in da Klub?’
    I said ‘Can you get my Benz in da Klub?’

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. Matt Bertelli says:

    Didn’t have The Will To Win today. TWTW. (sarcasm)

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  19. Jaker says:

    Sorry guys, running a little late.

    Just wanted to take issue with the statement above labelling the Corey Kluber Society as “an absurd and fictional organization”.

    It’s real to me.

    –Not Steve

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. Ferment's Last Beerem says:

    This is approaching the cultural particularity of a Renaissance Fair

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. John W. says:

    You totally “Manny Trillo-ed” The Kluber- Brilliant!!!!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. shibboleth says:

    I know a great start on your bench is better than a horrible one in your lineup. I know it, and yet…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  23. MikeP says:

    I find your lack of faith disturbing…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  24. BrianB says:

    “better than nintendo”

    Bwahahahahahahahahahaha

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  25. jimbo says:

    CK needs to throw more up-and-in sliders to RHB. Might not make everyone look like Peralta, but I can’t imagine many batters being able to do damage after their first reflex is a flinch.

    He can also throw that pitch for strikes away to LHB. It starts out looking so far outside the LHBs were spitting on it…only to see it barely miss the outside corner. Bring that sucker in just a bit and I bet lefties are still frozen, but on a strike.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  26. tribetime19 says:

    Corey Kluber pitches like Albert Einstein does long division.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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