Daily Notes: Cubs Fans Pretty Gross, Study Finds

Table of Contents
Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of Daily Notes.

1. Assorted Headlines
2. Today’s Games
3. Unnecessary Video: Longest Home Run of 2012

Assorted Headlines
Featuring, at the very least, 140%-150% of news that’s fit to print.

Cubs Fans Gross, Cardinals Fans Not
Urine Feces Everywhere (UFE), some manner of independent agency situation, has assessed all 30 major-league stadiums on cleanliness “using over 79 different criteria,” according to their site. What one learns: Wrigley Stadium was the dirtiest park in the majors (mostly owing to a lack of handwashing among men) and Busch was the cleanest. There are probably some interesting questions raised here about design or event management for people who enjoy asking questions along those lines.

Figgins Experiencing Existential Crisis, Appears
It’s been about 15 years since I read Jean-Paul Sartre’s play No Exit, but I’m pretty at least one of the characters says at least once, “I can’t take any more of this” — which, according to Nick Eaton of the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, is roughly what infielder Chone Figgins has recently said of his life as a Mariner. Figgins, who is due $9 million in 2013, has been worth at least one win below replacement level over the past two seasons.

De La Rosa, Sands Officially Join Red Sox
Because they hadn’t been passed through waivers, neither right-hander Rubby de la Rosa nor corner outfielder Jerry Sands were sent to the Red Sox immediately in the trade that saw Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez, and Nick Punto all move Westward. Sands actually finished among the Pacific Coast League’s leaders by regressed batting.

Today’s Games
NL Wild Card Game | St. Louis at Atlanta | 17:00 ET on TBS
Kyle Lohse (211.0 IP, 101 xFIP-, 3.6 WAR) faces Kris Medlen (138.0 IP, 76 xFIP-, 3.9 WAR).

AL Wild Card Game | Baltimore at Texas | 20:30 ET on TBS
Joe Saunders (174.2 IP, 107 xFIP-, 2.5 WAR) faces Yu Darvish (191. IP, 85 xFIP-, 5.1 WAR).

Unnecessary Video: Longest Home Run of 2012
Here’s this season’s longest home run — 494 feet, according to Hit Tracker — courtesy Giancarlo Stanton.

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

11 Responses to “Daily Notes: Cubs Fans Pretty Gross, Study Finds”

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  1. yolo says:

    A Jean-Paul Sartre reference in relation to chone? Props.

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    • yolo says:

      Off subject question: what translation of Sartre should I read? Are some better than others?

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    • philosofool says:

      You could write a pretty good surrealist existentialist play called “I can’t take anymore of this.”

      It involves a baseball player whose name, “Sean”, is curriously misspelled, and who, everytime he takes the field, has an out-of-body experience as a result of which, he’s forced to watch his miserable performance from the stands. In the third act, a fan, who we’ve watched silently sit next to Sean through the beginning of the play, announces that he can’t take anymore of this, stand up, and leaves. In the fourth act, Chone repeats this phrase, breaking the spell, so that he can return to his body, which allows him to be released by the team controlling him. In the fifth act, the fan returns, sits silently for several minutes, stands up, then mutters “Seager?” The lights fall, the play ends.

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  2. Nate says:

    I thought Stanton’s “Imma break the bigscreen” shot was farther than that one.

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  3. Brendan says:

    IIRC, that Stanton home run was hit with the wind blowing in 13 mph…it’s at Coors, but still.

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    • Jack says:

      Things work differently in Coors field. There probably some weird physics things that makes ball flying into the wind go further.

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  4. Matt Hunter says:

    Since when is any video of Giancarlo Stanton unnecessary? In fact, I would argue that in order to truly enjoy and understand baseball, one must not only view, but allow oneself to be enveloped in the majesty of, all home runs hit by Giancarlo Stanton. Without this experience, one can never fully comprehend the meaning of baseball, and by extension, life itself.

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  5. Fuckyoubitch says:

    500 feet is fucking better.

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