Educational Film: Lucas Giolito’s Bowel-Locking Curveball

Right-handed Washington prospect Lucas Giolito recorded his spring debut this afternoon in Florida, producing a 3:0 strikeout-to-walk ratio in 2.0 innings while conceding no runs and just a single hit against the Miami ball club (box).

If certain, possibly British sources are to be trusted, the three strikeouts were facilitated, at least in some part, by means of Giolito’s breaking ball — a breaking ball described recently by former Mets GM Steve Phillips as “bowel-locking.”

Because Evil is both real and constantly among us, video footage of those particular curveballs isn’t available for public consumption. What is available, however, is the educational film above, excerpted from the right-hander’s August 14th start against Double-A Baltimore affiliate Bowie. Within that footage, one finds a specimen of Giolito’s curveball, both in real time and also provocative slow-motion.

The reader is advised to locate his or her keys before consuming said video, however, so that it might be easier to unlock his or her bowels after examining it.

Brian Reinhart is a stranger, even to himself. He’s also responsible for bringing this series of events to the author’s attention.




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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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9 Comments on "Educational Film: Lucas Giolito’s Bowel-Locking Curveball"


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Ebenezer
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Ebenezer
2 months 24 days ago

Lucas “Bowel-Locker” Giolito. Has a ring to it, of sorts.

Alex Chamberlain
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2 months 24 days ago

Thought it said “Bowel-Licker” at first. Does not quite have the same ring to it.

Creamy
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Creamy
2 months 24 days ago

That is a simply filthy pitch . . .

Shirtless Bartolo Colon
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2 months 23 days ago

My cousin Bloqueo’s name means bowel-locking! His curve sucks tho.

LHPSU
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LHPSU
2 months 21 days ago

Shitless Bartolo Colon

Johnston
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Johnston
2 months 23 days ago

I’d hate to try to hit that pitch.

Mario Mendoza
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Mario Mendoza
2 months 21 days ago

Kenta Maeda pitched this weekend. How’d he look?

Michael Carpenter
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Michael Carpenter
2 months 16 days ago

His pitching in the game that this .gif is extracted from was amazing. 7.0 IP, ERA of 0.0, 1 hit, 1 BB, 0 ER, and 11 Ks.

troybruno
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troybruno
2 months 14 days ago

were i the batter, I suppose this would have had the opposite result — to forceibly unlock my bowels

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