Kenny Powers Hates Computers

The self-proclaimed greatest pitcher there ever was returned to HBO last night to try his hand in a Mexican League (not to be confused with THE Mexican League, as far as I know).

Clearly Kenny Powers doesn’t read FanGraphs because Kenny Powers “f**king hates computers, all kinds.”

But, if he did, besides calling the site something heinously profane, he might remember that for his career he averaged just above .5 wins above replacement per season — not to mention that, even in his best season, he would have only barely cracked the top 20 relief pitchers according to WAR.

Season Team   G    IP  W   L  SV   SO  BB  ER    ERA  WAR
2001   GWT*  15  23.0  4   0  12   28   0   1   0.39    ----
2002   ATL   62  66.1  7   3  49  106  30  21   2.85    1.75
2003   NYA   64  62.2  7   3  39   79  20  33   4.74    1.13
2004   SFG   52  54.2  3  10  30   44  27  40   6.59   -0.46
2005   BOS   15  12.2  0   6   3    6   9  12   8.57   -0.31

The good news is, that assuming Kenny Powers is between the age of 29-31 (based on being drafted in 1999), he still has plenty of time to make it back to the big leagues!

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David Appelman is the creator of FanGraphs.

23 Responses to “Kenny Powers Hates Computers”

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  1. chris says:

    that rookie card is worth 5 bucks

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  2. Good interview with Danny McBride (i.e. co-writer and star) in The Onion this week.

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  3. Piccamo says:

    In the first episode they have a flash back of him declaring free agency. I wonder why the stats don’t show his entire time with the Braves.

    Also sad that he kept my Orioles from winning their first World Series in decades.

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  4. Scott says:

    So, did any other Atlanta fans immediately think John Rocker when this show came out? Obviously not a perfect comparison but a brash, shut down reliever who fades into obscurity quickly.

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    • David says:

      There are the obvious Rocker comparisons, but Rod Beck is the pitcher that comes to mind for me. Kind of tubby, mullet and drug issues.

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  5. chris says:

    scott i think thats what the show is based on…

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  6. odbsol says:

    The man with the golden *ick.

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  7. Doug Melvin says:

    The premature ejaculation was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. And then the following “I made an adult decision” explanation took things to another level.

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  8. theinternet says:

    I’m the man who has the ball
    I’m the man who can throw faster than f**k
    So that is why I am better than everyone in the world

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  9. Nucky says:

    Season 3 will be in Japan, mark my words.

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  10. John says:

    i swear they showed him in a mariners uniform in season 1

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  11. My echo and bunnymen says:

    I’ve always heard Eastbound is hilarious, however, HBO does the worst job (I’ve ever seen) of advertising it. So naturally, I haven’t watched it.

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  12. odbsol says:

    Worth watching. Season 1 is only 6 episodes so you can get through it pretty quick.

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  13. Kent says:

    If I’m not mistaken (and I’ve seen every episode) Powers ended his career in a Seattle uniform, not Boston.

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  14. Peter says:

    No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is totally wrong.

    First of all, the Gwinnett Braves didn’t exist in 2001. The Braves’ AAA affiliate was in Richmond, Virginia (Richmond Braves).

    Secondly, if you watch the introduction to the series, Kenny Powers very clearly ends his major league career playing for the Seattle Mariners.

    The people at HBO need to get their s*** together!

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  15. Kopy says:

    If these stats came from the “baseball cards” out there. There is another one for Seattle. He plays there for one last year after Boston. I think I saw them all (including Seattle) on, but i’m sure they can be found elsewhere.

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  16. We initially compiled the stats table:

    But it looks like SEA got left off cause there really aren’t any definitive stats for that season. Other than “Powers kicks his glove”.

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  17. chris de young says:

    I hate computers too. Especially my girlfriend’s Mac Book. It fucking sucks. But I love Kenny Powers. So you know. Its like two evils. But Kenny isn’t evil. The computer is. So there you go.

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  18. Kenny Powers says:

    With stats like these, Kenny Powers is a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer for sure!

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