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Offseason Notes

This edition of Offseason Notes is funnier than about 60% of all episodes of The Jeffersons.

Marginally Important News
In which the author examines news that’s just barely fit to print.

Juan Carlos Linares Getting Attention
SCOUT-leaderboard-fixture Juan Carlos Linares is discussed glowingly by Sox GM Theo Epstein and a mysterious scouty-type person. “He rakes,” says — er, actually, texts — the latter, presumably not discussing Linares’s fondness for yardwork.

Amazin’ Avenue Starts Book Club
Clearly aware that sporting news can reach absurd heights at this particular juncture of the baseballing calendar, Amazin’ Avenue’s James Kannengieser has started a virtual book club, and the first assignment is Moneyball. Among the penetrating discussion questions, we find this, for example:

5. Was early 1980s Billy Beane [pictured above right] really as handsome as the scouts declared? How would he stack up vs. other 1986 Mets in that department? As a GM, would you rather sign a lothario or a mature, married player (like Ollie)?

It’s obvious, America: Metropolitan fans are willing to ask the tough questions..

Paulino to Rockies for Barmes
Young robitronic author R.J. Anderson has already treated this, but it deserves to be noted elsewise that Felipe Paulino was a member of the very proprietary All-Joy Team last year, had a decent 2010, and throws the ball superhard. Consider: among pitchers with at least 80 IP, Paulino finished second behind only new teammate Ubaldo Jimenez with a fastball average of 95.5 mph. That’s faster than Justin Verlander and Josh Johnson.

SCOUT Batting Leaderboard
The Leaderboard
Here is the SCOUT batting leaderboard for the Arizona Fall League. (Click here for more on SCOUT, the metric that’s “sweeping” the “nation.”)

• Right now, Carson Cistulli is currently daydreaming about Conor Gillaspie and Charlie Blackmon.
• In a totally wholesome way, that is.

SCOUT Pitching Leaderboard
The Leaderboard
Same verse, very similar to the first.

Alexander Cobb started yesterday against Surprise.
• Here’s his line: 22 BF, 4.1 IP, 8 K, 2 BB, 5:0 GO:AO.
• That also somehow equals 5 R (4 ER).

Bryce Harper Watch
Bryce Harper was 2-for-4 yesterday with one these: 2B. And one of these: K.

That brings his AFL line to .343/.410/.629 in 35 AB.