One Night Only: Hot Game Previews for April 28th

At the current market value per win, Juan Pierre theoretically owes the White Sox $5 million.

This edition of One Night Only contains:

1. Expanded previews for the day’s three most interesting games: Toronto at Texas, Chicago (AL) at New York (AL), and Kansas City at Cleveland.

2. NERD Game Scores™ for every one of tonight’s games.

3. Some “creative” “use” of the “language.”

Toronto (7) at Texas (6) | 14:05 ET
Starting Pitchers
Blue Jays: Brandon Morrow (N/A)
Start on 4/23: 5.1 IP, 20 TBF, 10 K, 2 BB, 3 GB on 8 batted-balls (37.5 GB%)

Rangers: Alexi Ogando (4)
25.1 IP, 4.97 K/9, 1.78 BB/9, .155 BABIP, 30.7 GB%, 11.8% HR/FB, 4.35 xFIP, 107 xFIP-

Alexi Ogando‘s numbers so far this season confirm that old baseball adage “Sometimes a player will have different numbers if you put him in a different role.”
• Not exactly a classic of the genre, you wouldn’t say.
• Still, accurate.
• His (better) line from last season, all in relief: 8.42 K/9, 3.43 BB/9, 43.8 GB%, 3.69 xFIP, 88 xFIP-.
• The biggest difference? Last season: 171 batters faced, only 58 left-handers (33.9%). This season, so far: 96 batters faced, 66 left-handers (68.8%).

If I Had My Druthers
• There’d be a third way to bat — besides lefty and righty, I mean.
• Maybe, like, middle-handed, where you just stand on top of the plate.
• Or sexy-handed, whatever that would be.

Chicago Americans (1) at New York Americans (8) | 19:05 ET
Starting Pitchers
White Sox: Edwin Jackson (8)
31.1 IP, 8.62 K/9, 3.45 BB/9, .370 BABIP, 45.4 GB%, 6.7% HR/FB, 3.40 xFIP, 84 xFIP-

Yankees: CC Sabathia (8)
33.0 IP, 8.18 K/9, 2.73 BB/9, .305 BABIP, 43.8 GB%, 7.4% HR/FB, 3.19 xFIP, 78 xFIP-

A Brief and Hypothetical Dialogue with the Reader
Reader: Why do the Sox have such a low NERD score — and how closely does it correlate with the fact that you’re an a-hole?

Me: Allow me to remind you: correlation does not imply causation.

Reader: That’s a bit of an a-hole thing to say, isn’t it?

Me: Touché!

Some Actual Real Things About the White Sox
The thing about the White Sox is that, thus far, they’re below average in these important categories:

• Hitting
• Home-Run hitting
• Stolen-Base Runs
• Defense

In tandem with the fact that the roster isn’t particularly young or shrewdly constructed, this is the reason for the low score.

All That, Expressed Differently
Before play yesterday, the White Sox were one of only two teams (besides the Mariners, that is) currently posting a negative WAR from hitting and fielding combined, with a mark of -0.2 WAR.

Only Possible Conclusion
Given the present market value of approx. $5 million per win, the players on the White Sox roster currently owe management about $1.5 million.

Kansas City (9) at Cleveland (10) | 19:05 ET
Starting Pitchers
Royals: Kyle Davies (4)
26.0 IP, 6.58 K/9, 3.12 BB/9, .371 BABIP, 37.5 GB%, 2.8% HR/FB, 4.37 xFIP, 108 xFIP-

Indians: Fausto Carmona (7)
29.2 IP, 6.37 K/9, 3.34 BB/9, .278 BABIP, 61.3 GB%, 14.8% HR/FB, 3.81 xFIP, 94 xFIP-

• Per WAR and Base Runs, the Royals are basically a league-average team — which, I acknowledge that doesn’t necessarily scream “exciting.”
• Still, they have other traits that a baseballing enthusiast might care to note.
• Like, they have the league’s highest Speed Score (Spd), for instance, which means they run a lot and generally run well.
• And like, with an average batter age of 27 exactly, they’re one of the youngest teams in baseball.
• And also they have the league’s lowest payroll (ca. $36 million) by a decent amount, meaning much-maligned GM Dayton Moore is getting some value from his roster.

If I Had My Druthers
• Dayton Moore would actually change his official title to Much-Maligned GM.
• He’d describe the move as “Dadaist-inspired.”
• He’d describe his acquisition of Jose Guillen that one time as “Dadaist-inspired,” too.

Also Playing
These games are very likely playing at some kind of sporty channel near you.

pNERD = Pitcher NERD
Game = Time and Average NERD for Game
* = Fewer than 20 IP, NERD of 5

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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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