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  1. Do you ever think these stupid incidences happen because baseball players aren’t the smartest people around? I mean most did go to college but did most really treat college as anything more than a stop on their professional baseball career? I certainly don’t think they are like the soccer players of Europe who notoriously lack certain “fundamental” skills like literacy in their native language…

    Comment by malicevoyager — May 31, 2012 @ 11:46 am

  2. FWIW my entirely groundless theory is that he punched something and broke his hand, then made up this nonsense story to avoid the potential fallout of what happens when a pro athlete not-entirely-accidentally injures himself off the field.

    Comment by NatsFan73 — May 31, 2012 @ 11:51 am

  3. my theory is that every one of these injuries that happen in weird, unverifiable ways is actually a sex-related injury

    Comment by juan pierres mustache — May 31, 2012 @ 11:58 am

  4. Did you ever think that these stupid incidences happen because stupid crap happens to pretty much everybody and that baseball players are people too?

    Comment by geo — May 31, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

  5. Does nobody remember Glenallen Hill? He probably has one of the best weird injury stories ever.

    Comment by lexomatic — May 31, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

  6. One of my all-time favorites as a Red Sox fan: Paxton Crawford. A day after pitching a 7 inning no-hitter, he allegedly rolled off a hotel bed in Ottawa and landed on a glass that he had left on the floor. The injury required eight stitches.

    Comment by MustBunique — May 31, 2012 @ 12:35 pm

  7. Can’t believe this post was devoid of a Kendrys Morales reference. And while it wasn’t intentionally stupid or particularly severe, Derek Lee injuring his back a couple years ago when the chair he was sitting in (eating, obviously) collapsed was hilarious.

    Comment by TheWrightStache — May 31, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

  8. In most cases, these “freak” accidents are cover ups for more embarrassing or potentially illegal acts. Clubs and players invent them to save face and/or to avoid getting contracts voided.

    Comment by Uncle Hulka — May 31, 2012 @ 1:02 pm

  9. Howard; check out Lexomatic’s link above – pretty good stuff there. Smoltz injuring himself ironing a shirt – while WEARING IT?!? Marty Cordova tanning booth injury?
    Not mentioned is Bob Ojeda severing a finger while gardening (not on the ‘funny’ list would be the boating accident that injured him and Tim Crews and killed Steve Olin, though).

    Doyle Alexander too, also.

    Comment by Franchise — May 31, 2012 @ 1:09 pm

  10. Matt Holiday went on the DL because of a moth

    Comment by Telo2 — May 31, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  11. Joel Zumaya – Guitar Hero

    Comment by sprezzident — May 31, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  12. I have a rock to kick: Tony Campana not in the Cubs starting lineup on an even semi-regular basis.

    Comment by saskatunes — May 31, 2012 @ 1:20 pm

  13. Nobody mentioned David Wells? He was chasing his friend around his basement bar, tripped over a bar stool and the cocktail glass he was carrying lacerated a tendon in his wrist. If my memory serves me correct.

    Comment by KCExile — May 31, 2012 @ 1:39 pm

  14. Kaz Sasaki and his not-at-all-drinking-related suitcase accident?

    Comment by Dingbat — May 31, 2012 @ 2:10 pm

  15. Okay, it’s not BB-related, but Gus Ferrotte head butting a brick wall to celebrate a TD just retired the entire genre for all sports.

    Comment by Joebreidey — May 31, 2012 @ 2:23 pm

  16. Not that it matters but Smoltz was asked about this last year on an MLB broadcast and he denied it.

    Comment by odbsol — May 31, 2012 @ 3:39 pm

  17. Recently Ryan Madson broke his foot kicking a wall after blowing a save. That hurt my bullpen.

    My favorite might be Vince Coleman being eaten by automated tarp before a World Series game


    The story that David Wells once broke his pitching hand in a street fight outside a bar after his mother’s wake.

    Comment by Ryan D. — May 31, 2012 @ 3:42 pm

  18. natsfan73 & jpstache’s replys were the first two ‘real’ reasons that popped into my head too

    Comment by grassyjones — May 31, 2012 @ 3:51 pm

  19. I miss Marty Cordova

    Comment by grassyjones — May 31, 2012 @ 3:54 pm

  20. Yeah, because literacy and/or a college education has a lot to do with one’s tendency to punch baseball bats or to have suitcases dropped on one’s hand.

    Comment by Mikey — May 31, 2012 @ 4:28 pm

  21. I think it’s aliens.

    Comment by Sam Samson — May 31, 2012 @ 10:21 pm

  22. Thanks for the article. I was just talking about the Clint Barmes accident the other day with someone but couldn’t remember who it was.

    Comment by Reverend Jim — June 1, 2012 @ 12:49 am

  23. You sound so sure. Can you provide some of the real reasons?

    Comment by BlackOps — June 1, 2012 @ 6:58 am

  24. Most of the “injuries”: dropping venison on one’s hand, falling off treadmills, sneezing, etc are cover ups for any number of incidents. I think most are alcohol related, domestic flare-ups, punching things/people, etc. The stupid alibis are fabricated to save face for players/organizations.

    Comment by Uncle Hulka — June 1, 2012 @ 12:22 pm

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