2012 All-Injured Team

How about a contest?

If my fantasy track record is any indication, I can pick injured players better than most. I thought I might take a look into the future and try to predict 2012’s All-Injured Team. A few rules:

1. Must be currently signed.
2. Must not currently be expected to be out for the season (Tommy John Surgery)
3. Will be judged at the end of the year by days missed

There is no prize except pride. Maybe in-season rankings, if enough people throw a list in the comments, and I’m sufficiently lacking in inspiration once every couple of months and want to post something that just requires a calculator.

Okay, great, here we go. Presenting…

My 2012 All-Injured Team
Sponsored by the folks at America’s Worst Hospital.

C: Adam Moore. Okay, maybe it’s cheating to pick a player who’s basically been injured since 2010, no longer has either of his knees, and isn’t even expected to play a major role on the team. But MLB.com insists he passed his Arizona Fall League test with “flying cartilage.” Sorry, “flying colors.” So, hey, if someone expects him to be healthy, he counts. I expect to see some Joe Mauers in the comments.

1B: Ike Davis. I hope not, because he’s the only player on the Mets I still feel like rooting for. But, boy, those first baseman ankle injuries do not seem to heal so well. (Except for Kendrys Morales, who will be back to full health and win the MVP and Cy Young awards. I’ve mentioned him in too many posts. I’m assuming full health for him, from now on. No doubt.)

2B: Brian Roberts. “Vague” and “still up in the air” are not promising words in a December 26th blog post.

SS: Rafael Furcal. I should make bolder picks, but I want to win. He’s so good, one quarter-season every eight.

3B: Scott Rolen. Also a member of more than one of my fantasy teams last season. Not again, I say until his name comes up in an auction.

OF: Nate McLouth. His injury history on Baseball Prospectus has 22 entries, including problems with his face, toes, and trunk. His trunk? Also, he is an elephant.

OF: Grady Sizemore. He “will be allowed to remain a center fielder.” Then again, Carlos Beltran had a pretty nice season last year.

OF: Lance Berkman.

SP: Johan Santana
SP: Josh Johnson
SP: Chris Carpenter
SP: Freddy Garcia
SP: Chris Capuano.

Really just throwing darts with these last three. Age, history, seems too easy.

CL: Jonathan Papelbon. A stab in the dark. The Phillies killed Brad Lidge, so maybe it’s something in the water.

Can you do better? I bet you can.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Take Nelson Cruz over Berkman for OF. The guy is awesome when healthy in fantasy baseball, but is on the DL 4 times a year.