Depressing Holiday Thought

I don’t mean to depress you.  I don’t want to bring you down.  I don’t want to ruin your holiday season.

But no matter what you do…  No matter what happens to you…  No matter what you receive under the tree or in your stocking…

You will never be as happy as Carson Cistulli was in 1989 to receive VCR Baseball.

This is not a failing on your part. It’s simply a fact. No one has ever been this truly, perfectly, unadulteratedly happy before.

And who wouldn’t be over the moon to receive “the exciting baseball strategy game that can turn an ordinary afternoon into a thrilling day at the ballpark?”  The one game (actually “two games in one”) where you could “become an actual player and see the outcome of your hits on TV as you watch the video tape containing footage of professional slugging action. Home runs, double plays, triples, fielding errors, pop-ups.”

Imagine your own elation at receiving approximately 30 minutes of video taped baseball footage, a colorful game board, a score pad, 3 dice, AND MORE!  Nor could you hope to match his enthusiasm for a game that includes among its features “for two players” and “live footage of professional ball players in action.”

Even that would fall short of the exquisite joy born of the one gift that melded Carson’s twin loves of pausing the VCR and nerdiness, only one of which is still attainable for him in our 21st Century Jetsonesque society.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman


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DD
Guest
DD

Sister Cistulli should shut up. Baseball is WAY better than barbies, or cabbage patch kids, or whatever…

DD
Guest
DD

Also, this kid looks way too much like I did when I was 6 in 1989, I think I still have those glasses somewhere, and that haircut.

MikeS
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MikeS

You know, that’s pretty much what I thought Cistulli looks like now, today, circa late 2011.

Mom needed a wide angle lens to get both ears to it in the frame

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