NotGraphs Baseball

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  1. No Freddie Freeman?

    http://www.wheresweems.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/23.jpg

    Comment by Julian — October 14, 2011 @ 10:34 am

  2. Alexi Ogando is a dead ringer for an Easter Island moai.

    Comment by Lisa W — October 14, 2011 @ 10:34 am

  3. No Rich Garces? EL GUAPO LIVES!

    Comment by ttt — October 14, 2011 @ 10:35 am

  4. “Next week we’ll hit up the position players. They are surprisingly better looking”

    Comment by Matt Defalco — October 14, 2011 @ 10:36 am

  5. Seriously, where is Willie McGee?

    Comment by Jonathan C. Mitchell — October 14, 2011 @ 10:36 am

  6. Hahaha! I loved this. My wife calls Bartolo Colon, “Shrek.” It fits perfectly.

    Comment by William — October 14, 2011 @ 10:40 am

  7. Aaron Harang must have paid you 8 bucks to keep him off this list.

    Comment by Ryan Hoffman — October 14, 2011 @ 10:45 am

  8. you have absolutely no business not including Joaquin Benoit!!

    Comment by Bobby Russon — October 14, 2011 @ 10:49 am

  9. I’m definitely surprised Zane Smith didn’t make the cut.

    http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/1008/mlb.top.waiver.trade.acquisitions/images/zane-smith.83904571.jpg

    Comment by Andy — October 14, 2011 @ 10:51 am

  10. I’m so stupid.

    Comment by Julian — October 14, 2011 @ 11:00 am

  11. How is Gabe Kapler not better at baseball?

    Comment by Daniel — October 14, 2011 @ 11:08 am

  12. Needs more Ezequiel Astacio.

    Comment by Brandon Warne — October 14, 2011 @ 11:13 am

  13. Wow. Ya, Zane Smith needs to be Assistant Pitching Coach or something.

    Comment by Adrastus Perkins — October 14, 2011 @ 11:16 am

  14. Erick Aybar better be starting shortshop. Dude looks like MJ in Thriller, every day.

    Comment by Adrastus Perkins — October 14, 2011 @ 11:20 am

  15. Jeff Karstens: http://productiveouts.com/post/7689638817/jeff-karstens-threw-a-complete-game-shut-out-last

    Comment by oldjacket — October 14, 2011 @ 11:21 am

  16. Eno – I hope you were coming back from the shooting range or something, because those glasses are horrible.

    Comment by Dude — October 14, 2011 @ 11:29 am

  17. “Google Nien Nunb from Star Wars. No? Okay, I’m a dick.”

    Hahahahahahhhhahaha. Yes. (Clearly I did not need to google it.)

    Comment by Telo — October 14, 2011 @ 11:29 am

  18. C’mon, there must be a place on the coaching staff for Willie McGee.

    Comment by Bobby A. — October 14, 2011 @ 11:36 am

  19. Aaron Harang is the absolute first person who came to mind.

    Comment by scout1222 — October 14, 2011 @ 12:13 pm

  20. I can’t believe NG’s previous feature on Ray King didn’t garner him a spot somewhere on this roster! Team Chef, perhaps?

    http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/pictures-of-ray-king/

    Comment by steex — October 14, 2011 @ 12:17 pm

  21. He’s so busted we gave him a day off.

    Comment by Eno Sarris — October 14, 2011 @ 12:25 pm

  22. He did. He paid me money. He was tired of being called ugly. In fact, he paid me enough that he’s going to head up the Pretty list.

    Comment by Eno Sarris — October 14, 2011 @ 12:25 pm

  23. Assistant pitching coach? Hell, he could be the whole rotation all by himself!

    Comment by The Rajah — October 14, 2011 @ 12:32 pm

  24. Travis Hafner for DH.
    Yadier Molina (Banjo playing kid from Deliverance) at C.
    Karstens is a no-brainer, and agreed on Harang.

    Unfortunately pre-braces Deivi Cruz is no longer playing, or he’d be a prime contender for SS/UT. Worst teeth in recent ML history.

    Comment by Dan Greer — October 14, 2011 @ 1:03 pm

  25. How about Derrick Turnbow?

    Comment by DD — October 14, 2011 @ 1:57 pm

  26. So many ugly players, so few spots.

    The Weaver brothers (Jeff and Jered) are good candidates.
    http://laist.com/attachments/Lisa%20Borodkin/Weaver_5-24-09.jpg

    Comment by Vin — October 14, 2011 @ 2:24 pm

  27. Ronald Belisario is a much better Nien Nunb than Padilla.

    Ramon Troncoso is also quite ugly.

    Comment by RR — October 14, 2011 @ 2:30 pm

  28. Jay Gibbons
    http://www.gforcesports.net/PBL/html/images/jay_gibbons.jpg

    Comment by bowie — October 14, 2011 @ 2:34 pm

  29. Hey you guys! You forgot Tom Gorzelanny!
    http://cdn2.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/64576/3790595221_299745ef27.jpg

    Comment by manbearpig — October 14, 2011 @ 2:36 pm

  30. RON KARKOVICE

    http://www.google.com/imgres?q=Ron+Karkovice&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fk9&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1600&bih=722&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=_J-Yi-ERUVjVXM:&imgrefurl=http://cgi.ebay.com/Ron-Karkovice-White-Sox-C-Topps-40-Avviversary-1991-568-/110689244392&docid=neetOPPLN8j13M&itg=1&imgurl=http://i.ebayimg.com/00/%2524%28KGrHqEOKooE3FB6GwMhBN0t%29gv,Rg~~_12.JPG&w=368&h=500&ei=CJeYTofjDOSEsAKR0djgBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=391&vpy=346&dur=1073&hovh=262&hovw=193&tx=102&ty=143&sig=110945610010988689221&page=7&tbnh=143&tbnw=105&start=156&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:156

    Comment by Anal Horsehammer — October 14, 2011 @ 4:11 pm

  31. Johnny Dickshot

    The ugliest name in baseball came attached to an ugly face. Though he obviously lost out to Mossi, Dickshot ran a fairly successful campaign for patron saint of this team. He was well known for referring to himself as the ugliest man in baseball.

    http://www.baseball-reference.com/bullpen/Johnny_Dickshot

    I just have to say it again. His name is Dickshot.

    Comment by Mac — October 14, 2011 @ 7:43 pm

  32. a million times Jeff Karstens

    Comment by Resolution — October 15, 2011 @ 12:39 am

  33. Can we reserve room in the bullpen for the pitcher with the ugliest glasses? Today’s incumbent is Tyler Clippard, although Jason Motte, Ben Weber and Brendan Donnelly have held the title at various times. Think of that as the Ryne Duren bullpen role, with the added parallel that certain of those guys have also had big heaters with control problems from time to time.

    Comment by Bad Bill — October 15, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

  34. Alcides Escobar

    Comment by Jose — October 15, 2011 @ 4:12 pm

  35. Damn… that’s a ton of money. He looks like how Paul Giamatti would look after several years underground.

    Comment by gnomez — October 16, 2011 @ 2:35 pm

  36. Jose Mesa tops my list. I get him and the Ugly in “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly”, mixed up in my brain when I try to picture them. Dude could stop a train.

    Comment by Bill — October 17, 2011 @ 8:41 am

  37. Please take time to consider Jorge Cantu when you do the position players. It looks like someone set his face on fire and then tried to put it out with a track shoe.

    Comment by Freddy T — October 17, 2011 @ 11:23 am

  38. Ah, yes. The Horseface Killah.

    Comment by Anon — October 17, 2011 @ 4:01 pm

  39. I’d be in the “handsome” column,but I’m not an MLBer.(Though my cousin,Hall-Of-Fame RHP Ferguson Jenkins,SURELY WAS ONE!!!!!!!)

    Comment by handsomeolderblackladbrad1953 — December 28, 2013 @ 11:31 am

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