BREAKING NEWS: Los angeles Angels manager Mike Scossia has announced he will be giving birth to triplets in October and could go on maternity leave should the Angels make the postseason. Scossia had been trying to conceive all winter by eating large amounts of Napoli’s Sexual Chocolate cereal. Afer eating 6 boxes on January 9th he finally filled himself up with enough “NAP JUICE” to become Pregnant with the triplets. Regretting his treatment and eventual trade of Napoli to the Blue Jays for Vernon Wells, Scossia had been scheming for a way to get Napoli back on the team, but Nolan Ryan laughed in his face when Scossia offered up Wells and Hank Conger in order to get Napoli back. “It really was a no brainer to conceive once Nap’s cereal hit the market” Scossia says. “Now I get to groom three youngsters with Napoli’s bat and my defense to be the future catchers of the Angels.” Once they are born Scossia plans on sending the three youngsters to the same lab where Ted Williams head is being stored. The scientists their say they can age the three siblings at an accelerated race so that all three will be ready for spring training in 2013. Reportedly Owner Artie Moreno will be paying for the accelerated aging procedure. Moreno has requested that DNA be taken from Williams skull and injected into the siblings to assure they all have 20/10 vision. Scossia’s plan may be thwarted though as Napoli is already filing paperwork calling for custody of the triplets. “I don’t want some weirdo old guy who ate my man juice raising my kids” says Napoli.