NotGraphs Baseball

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  1. I refuse to vote for Brett Wallace until the nickname “chubby college girl who thinks she’s cute’s body” is available.

    Comment by dbake005 — April 19, 2012 @ 11:38 am

  2. 1. Jeffrey Loria
    2. Hanley Ramirez
    3. Logan Morrison
    4. Ozzie Guillen
    5. Having an aquarium
    6. We are the Marlins / The Miami Darlins
    QED.

    Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — April 19, 2012 @ 12:00 pm

  3. Although for a single player, it’s hard to top Yoenis Cespedes.

    Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — April 19, 2012 @ 12:03 pm

  4. Agreed on both comments.

    Comment by Resolution — April 19, 2012 @ 12:08 pm

  5. Except he shall forever be known to me as simply “Showcase”.

    Comment by Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets — April 19, 2012 @ 12:10 pm

  6. I believe there is an additional obvious candidate. Prior to last year, he sold his services and theoretical “stability” to a new team. Over the course of the year he crushed the dreams of a city, a team and thousands of roto dreams everywhere. He also has that “elevator doesn’t go to the top floor” look that implies he would call in to claim free leads from a radio spot.

    His name, is Adam Dunn.

    Comment by bankerboy — April 19, 2012 @ 12:27 pm

  7. Hey now. Adam Dunn doesn’t look dumb. He looks like a big nice farm boy that you could have a great time with, but he doesn’t look dumb…just goofy.

    Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — April 19, 2012 @ 12:37 pm

  8. Vicinte Padilla needs, nay, demands a nickname but this a’int it.

    Comment by kenshin kawakami — April 19, 2012 @ 1:10 pm

  9. Now I have that stupid song stuck in my head. M-A-R-L-I-N-S! We are the Marlins! Go FIsh! I hate you. We are the Marlins, Miami Marlins. Make a date with the Marlins, those Miami Darlin’s. :(

    Comment by Jack — April 19, 2012 @ 2:14 pm

  10. I’d almost believe that was a picture of Carson…but there are entirely too few holes in that scrawny internet pornography purveyor’s shirt.

    Status: Unresolved.

    Comment by Czechvarmander — April 19, 2012 @ 8:27 pm

  11. I obviously wrote in Bud Selig. His background selling quality used automotives is the stuff of which legends are made! Plus, this particular nick name is culled from Bud’s opening spiel, which he is known to bark while grasping your elbow during a firm handshake… “50 free quality sales leads thrown in with the purchase of a new stadium down here in San Jose.”

    Comment by deadhead — April 20, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

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