“In my days at college, it was customary for a fellow to at least buy a girl dinner at Steak ‘n Shake before going around the bases with her. Hell, I would treat a pretty thing to some fries before I put my hand on her knee. What we did after that is neither here nor there. In his new game, Josh Hamilton does not treat the Baltimore Orioles with such courtesy.” – Roger Ebert
“Fun for the whole family! The best baseball game of the year!” – Craig Random, WKEX-TV Fox
“Josh Hamilton is a terrible baseball player.” – Armond White
Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — May 9, 2012 @ 2:20 pm
“Josh Hamilton’s four home runs show the unoriginality to which baseball has subscribed: going for “wow” factor and ignoring the intricacies of the game. He is just another in a long line of homogenous sluggers.” – Armond White
“Nice dingers. I like stories. Does anyone have some of those Doritos with the salsa infused into the corn, ummm, the green ones with lime. Man, I am so damn tired and hungry.” – Kent Hrbek, with the assistance of Montreal Magic
Comment by Mr. Observant — May 10, 2012 @ 12:34 pm
If you’ve somehow never read the poem “Hrbek at the Bat”, look it up immediately.
Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — May 10, 2012 @ 11:37 pm
The best part about reviewing Albert Pujols Home Runs is you have multiple months to think of what to say. ^_^?
“Man I have such an itchy arm and where are the uncooked hotdogs? Oh, I fell asleep on them…munch, munch,… What a nice bit of poetic musing ’bout me?!?” – Kent Hrbek, St. Paul Review of Contemporary Poetry and Problemitized Literature, Fall 2012