Darren Daulton’s history of catching on knees wrapped in electric tape and slathered in epoxy, along with his noted affinity for mayhem gives him a strong case. He believed that a combination of tobacco juice, his mullet grease (his mullet grease alone–Kruk’s lacked the proper binding agent), and sunflower seeds, ground in a mortar and pestle in proper proportion and applied as a salve, could cure dropsy and imbue his teammates w/ the pep necessary to survive a grueling schedule of alcohol consumption and baseballing.
Maybe its cheap and lazy, but how is this NOT Barry Bonds?
Comment by Tommy Lasordas Pasta — July 5, 2012 @ 3:46 pm
The first thought I had before I thought of Daulton was of Perry, but I thought better of it once I realized that the medicine in question was supposed to be practiced on the self as opposed to others. Though the image of Perry pitching with a mirror on his head seems fitting.
Maybe Pete Rose? Since he’s not in the Hall of Fame, he could just be his own museum (of questionable medical devices). I was going to say Lenny Dykstra, but I think there’s a much more special nickname waiting for him.
Dude threw a no hitter on LSD, MDMA, bath salts and N2O. Plus, he stayed hydrated by sipping on Virgin Pina Coladas out of a coconut between innings. Don’t forget, the next morning he initiated the movement to allow marriage between humans and inanimate objects when he went to Haiti and married a slot machine. The slot machine left him penniless… and that’s how slot machines became known as…