NotGraphs Baseball

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  1. I know this anxiety well. I swear every single New Era hat I buy is just MASSIVE on the front part. I’ve been known to purposefully wet said part and then run it under a hair dryer in a (mostly) futile attempt to shrink the big, high front part down to a manageable and less embarrassing size. Life is terrible. Silver lining: The circumference of the hat, that shit will indeed shrink over perspiration/time. And you can always just grow more hair.

    Comment by Kyle — August 7, 2012 @ 1:32 pm

  2. Trust a veteran mad hatter: wear it in the rain. Not only will moisture (and its subsequent evaporation) shrink the band itself, but will also cause the front panel to collapse a bit. IPlease note, it will NOT EVER look straight-off-the-shelf again, but it will look far better on your head.

    Comment by StFriebe — August 7, 2012 @ 1:46 pm

  3. StFriebe is most correct, get that sucker wet and wear it as it dries out. The result will exalt your merely average fitting hat to a position near that of the Dodgers hat Benny wore in Sandlot.

    Comment by Sam — August 7, 2012 @ 1:58 pm

  4. I, for one, have bore witness to the lost Brewers hat. As it resembles, in both coloring and odor, the underpants of a homeless person, I surmise the aforementioned wife lost the hat with purpose. She then made you believe it was an accident as wives are both (a) sneaky, and (b) the worst.

    Comment by David G Temple — August 7, 2012 @ 2:03 pm

  5. Love this. Also I’ve noticed that it’s not uncommon for commenters on Carson’s writing to basically mimic his style/voice. Just an observation more than anything I suppose. Sorry for your loss Carson. Keep up the good work.

    Comment by dave — August 7, 2012 @ 2:35 pm

  6. Just promise me you will be an upstanding gentleman and remove the sticker.

    Comment by samuelraphael — August 7, 2012 @ 2:43 pm

  7. Pictures or GTFO

    Comment by Big Jgke — August 7, 2012 @ 3:12 pm

  8. A reccomendation – try the New Era Low Crown. It’s not available in all of New Era’s hat styles for some reason, but for those that it is, with apologies to Johnny Caspar of Miller’s Crossing, it effectively limits the “high hat.”

    Comment by Joe — August 7, 2012 @ 3:43 pm

  9. you are a brave man for referring to your wife’s shortcomings as “ubiquitous” on the world wide web. a braver man than I.

    Comment by poopchute — August 7, 2012 @ 4:14 pm

  10. If the gentleman’s hat remains too much chef-like in the front, one could always donate it to Joe Blanton who can don a billboard on his head and still reman fashion forward.

    Comment by Hugh Briss — August 7, 2012 @ 6:38 pm

  11. The real question here is… why are you flying out of Chicago and taking the Van Galder? Fly from Milwaukee. It’s usually cheaper to fly from MKE, if you were to park your car at the airport in MKE it woul be cheaper than two round trip Van Galder tickets. And the hassle of O’Hare is much greater.

    Comment by deadhead — August 8, 2012 @ 7:32 am

  12. I can understand the pain and frustration of losing a perfectly fitting hat. Once upon a time, I had a hat upon which was the logo of my alma mater. I loved this hat, and it loved me back. It fit gorgeously upon my head, and I firmly believe it gave me the look of extreme importance. This hat had the perfect amount of fadedness to it that is truly irreplaceable. Sadly, this hat was accidentally left at a former girlfriend’s house, and it was unceremoniously shredded by a demonic poodle. I weep for your loss.

    Comment by Pinstripe Wizard — August 8, 2012 @ 9:46 am

  13. But O’Hare does allow you to walk around the entire airport with your glass of overpriced beverage. It may be a hassle, but it’s a hassle with a beverage in hand.

    Comment by Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets — August 8, 2012 @ 11:48 am

  14. Poofy non-hat hair is no good. I would recomend applying less shampoo until you find yourself back in a more stable cap situation.

    Also, it’s important to keep in mind that new era baseball caps have a rather lengthy and awkward breaking in process. But if you can make it through the ill fitting conductor hat phase, you’ll usually find yourself with a pretty good hat. Though you may need to find a team with a better color scheme..

    Comment by John Gaines — August 8, 2012 @ 11:20 pm

  15. They (being New Era) actually make a hat with a smaller front. It’s called a “low crown” hat, that way you don’t look like Tom Glavine everytime you put your cap on.

    Comment by WilJ — August 10, 2012 @ 2:52 pm

  16. prometheus was a heavy drinker, so while having his liver eaten was horrendous, its what most likely helped mask his alcoholism

    Comment by jason — September 24, 2012 @ 11:08 pm

  17. Still one of the best notgraphs posts this year. Thank you for all the hard work this year guys.

    Comment by yolo — October 10, 2012 @ 6:21 am

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