NotGraphs Baseball

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  1. Oh jeez it’s Jason Bay let’s just move on

    Comment by Eric G. — August 29, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

  2. As always, former players only.

    Comment by Dayn Perry — August 29, 2012 @ 12:55 pm

  3. Mo Vaughn.

    Comment by dbake005 — August 29, 2012 @ 12:56 pm

  4. Dmitri Young. Easily.

    Comment by Roll Fizzlebeef — August 29, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

  5. Has to be Jose Canseco right?

    Comment by bob — August 29, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

  6. Albert Belle. That is all.

    Comment by WarehouseWorthy — August 29, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

  7. Gabe Kapler. A fitness model who stinks (stank? stunk?) at baseball. This contest is over.

    Comment by NatsFan73 — August 29, 2012 @ 1:01 pm

  8. Ted Kluszewski

    Comment by The Only Nolan — August 29, 2012 @ 1:03 pm

  9. Ray King

    Comment by samuelraphael — August 29, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

  10. Ah, I missed that part of it. Well, in a few years then.

    #selfdeprecatingmetsfan

    Comment by Eric G. — August 29, 2012 @ 1:08 pm

  11. Reggie Jackson

    Comment by David G Temple — August 29, 2012 @ 1:09 pm

  12. How could anyone who’s seen 1. early 90’s baseball and 2. Baseball Tonight circa 2010’s not associate John Kruk with this?

    Comment by Justin — August 29, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  13. I rescind my proposal of Albert Belle and endorse this.

    Comment by WarehouseWorthy — August 29, 2012 @ 1:13 pm

  14. John fucking Kruk, who once, while idly puffing a cigarette during pre-game warmups, told a lady fan that “I’m not an athlete, I’m a baseball player.”

    Comment by olethros — August 29, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

  15. Yeah this seems about right.

    Comment by Jack — August 29, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

  16. Vincent Edward “Bo” Jackson.

    I shook his hand once and my whole body hurt for a week.

    Comment by MikeS — August 29, 2012 @ 1:15 pm

  17. Elijah Dukes

    Comment by Clark D — August 29, 2012 @ 1:18 pm

  18. The artist’s rendering with the Cardinals hat looks like Mark McGwire, so I’m going to nominate… Mark McGwire.

    Comment by Smooth — August 29, 2012 @ 1:26 pm

  19. Reaching back for Boog Powell.

    Comment by dockmarm — August 29, 2012 @ 1:29 pm

  20. Looks like Justin had the same thought at the same time. So let it be written.

    Comment by olethros — August 29, 2012 @ 1:33 pm

  21. I would submit that John Kruk is built like a sack of pancake batter and not at all like a brick shithouse.

    Comment by Dayn Perry — August 29, 2012 @ 2:13 pm

  22. See below. I object to this nomination!

    Comment by Dayn Perry — August 29, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

  23. Naw, man, he’s built more like a bouncy castle.

    Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — August 29, 2012 @ 2:42 pm

  24. An excellent nomination.

    Comment by Well-Beered Englishman — August 29, 2012 @ 2:43 pm

  25. damn, i was going to say mark mcguire, i can’t really think of anyone better. maybe goose gossage. since he didn’t win colonel sanders, i think he’s still eligible

    Comment by radicalhenri — August 29, 2012 @ 2:45 pm

  26. El Guapo?

    Comment by Big Jgke — August 29, 2012 @ 2:51 pm

  27. Walter Young.

    6’5″ 322 at his peak. 38+ BMI.

    It’s a done deal.

    Comment by yeah yep — August 29, 2012 @ 3:12 pm

  28. Howabout David Wells. Fits the bill perty well.

    Comment by Jack — August 29, 2012 @ 3:16 pm

  29. Wily Mo Pena

    Career Strikeouts > (Walks + Hits)

    Comment by Karl — August 29, 2012 @ 3:25 pm

  30. Rob Deer

    Comment by deadhead — August 29, 2012 @ 3:33 pm

  31. Or can we use ellipses for Deer? Actual… shit…

    Comment by deadhead — August 29, 2012 @ 3:34 pm

  32. My initial thought was Boog Powell, but Calvin Pickering also comes to mind…

    Comment by Adam W — August 29, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

  33. Pete Vuckovich!
    http://baseballstaches.tumblr.com/post/5189431912/pete-vuckovich-wiki-baseball-reference

    Comment by Johnny Hummusbeard — August 29, 2012 @ 3:53 pm

  34. He may be built primarily *of* pancake batter, but he’s still *like* a brick shithouse in both girth, solidity, and the amount of fecal matter contained therein.

    Comment by olethros — August 29, 2012 @ 4:29 pm

  35. I nominate Frank Howard, aka The Capitol Punisher. Check out this link from a familiar name:
    http://www.platoonadvantage.com/2010-articles/february/the-manly-awesomeness-of-frank-howard.html

    Comment by Dave Barker — August 29, 2012 @ 4:49 pm

  36. This is not Dayn Perry, this is a false one.

    Comment by Jack — August 29, 2012 @ 4:58 pm

  37. Holy craphouse! I forgot about Walter Young. Googled some pics . . . looks like he ate Mo Vaughn for a snack.

    Comment by Choo — August 29, 2012 @ 5:26 pm

  38. Lyle Mouton!
    http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/m/moutoly01.shtml

    Comment by Eminor3rd — August 29, 2012 @ 5:56 pm

  39. Also, Ron Kittle!

    Comment by Eminor3rd — August 29, 2012 @ 5:59 pm

  40. Seriously people? The Big Hurt. No one has ever been built more like a brick shithouse than Frank “me and my deltoids could crush you like a zit” Thomas

    Comment by Luke — August 29, 2012 @ 6:31 pm

  41. Cecil Fielder

    Comment by Ben — August 29, 2012 @ 7:01 pm

  42. One guy instantly popped into my head:
    http://www.chicagonow.com/lists-that-actually-matter/files/2012/06/LennyDykstra.jpg

    Despite being just 5 foot 10, “Nails” got his name for being one of the hardest playing and toughest guys to ever step on the field. He was not only a muscle-bound “brickhouse” in post-juice physical appearance though, but also in mind – routinely ending up on peoples “dumbest players ever” lists. And I think it only helps his case further that he now literally spends his time in the good ol brick Big House for bankruptcy fraud and grand-theft-auto.

    “Actual, Literal, Brick Shithouse” just sums up Dykstra so well in so many ways in my mind

    Comment by JoeyO — August 29, 2012 @ 9:08 pm

  43. Seconded.

    Comment by samuelraphael — August 30, 2012 @ 2:57 am

  44. I focused more on the shit than the bricks.

    Comment by samuelraphael — August 30, 2012 @ 2:58 am

  45. Ty Cobb – he actually shat in one too 100 years ago

    Elijah Dukes

    Ray Knight

    Joba Chamberlain – he’s retired now, amiright?

    Norm Charlton

    Rob Dibble

    Gary Sheffield

    Comment by nubillybaroo — August 30, 2012 @ 11:33 am

  46. Rube Waddell, aaand dismount.

    Comment by RA Rowe — August 30, 2012 @ 11:51 am

  47. Brian Giles

    Comment by Aaron55 — August 30, 2012 @ 10:53 pm

  48. Gary Sheffield is the first name to pop into my mind.

    Comment by Tony Clifton — August 31, 2012 @ 3:09 am

  49. George Brett, for obvious reasons

    Comment by DD — August 31, 2012 @ 12:12 pm

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