NotGraphs Baseball


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  1. It’s Delmontell…..DONATELLO and it’s not even remotely close. I’ve been saying this since the Twins had him early on.

    Comment by Brandon Warne — October 26, 2012 @ 9:47 am

  2. This is the best thing that’s ever been on this site. But the answer couldn’t be more obvious. Only one Ninja Turtle would ever throw a bat at an umpire, and it’s Raphael. And, like Young, Raphael would redeem himself by coming up huge when his team needed him (ALCS MVP).

    Comment by Matt — October 26, 2012 @ 9:48 am

  3. I have to say Raphael. Why, you may ask? Because in the arcade game from ages ago, Raphael was the worst. No range at all.

    Comment by Semi Pro — October 26, 2012 @ 9:54 am

  4. “Raphael – cool, but rude.”

    I’m REALLY hoping this was a workaholics reference…

    Comment by TRob — October 26, 2012 @ 9:57 am

  5. Watch and learn, young friend. Pay attention especially starting at the 35-second mark.

    Comment by dockmarm — October 26, 2012 @ 10:30 am

  6. Crap, next no one’s going to know anything about the couple of guys who were up to no and started making trouble in my neighborhood.

    Comment by Bill — October 26, 2012 @ 10:48 am

  7. I don’t know how I couldn’t remember that part. Better go dig up my VHS tapes…

    Comment by TRob — October 26, 2012 @ 10:55 am

  8. How did your mom react?

    Comment by Carson Cistulli — October 26, 2012 @ 11:48 am

  9. Whichever turtle is worthless during the first 99% of the battle, but then makes a lucky mistake and kills the bad guy in the end.

    Comment by Choo — October 26, 2012 @ 12:20 pm

  10. To my recollection, she became afraid, and suggested a move to a more affluent location.

    Comment by Steve — October 26, 2012 @ 1:00 pm

  11. Sometimes I think Sal Paradise was right…

    Comment by Smokey the Bear — October 26, 2012 @ 1:25 pm

  12. Delmontello.

    I loved playing the TMNT game and Donatello had the lamest moves compared to the others. He seemed just one dimensional thanks to clubbing people with his stick.

    Comment by Damaso's Burnt Shirt — October 26, 2012 @ 2:42 pm

  13. “Delmon Young is rude.”

    -Abraham Mohomed, a falafel-cart worker who witnessed the mayhem.

    Comment by samuelraphael — October 26, 2012 @ 2:44 pm

  14. All the turtles have redeeming qualities that do not overlap with the qualities that Delmon Young possesses. That being said, Michaelangelo was the most useless at his job of being a ninja, so…

    Comment by Dwight — October 26, 2012 @ 3:22 pm

  15. Which Turtle is anti semitic again?

    Comment by Jamie — October 27, 2012 @ 2:35 am

  16. Casey Jones

    Comment by jake — October 27, 2012 @ 3:52 pm

  17. April O’Neill

    Comment by Bob — October 28, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

  18. Michaelangelo in a nutshell

    Comment by My echo and bunnymen — October 29, 2012 @ 1:19 am

  19. If you would pay attention to the lyrics, the answer is obvious:

    Jim Leyland taught them to be ninja teens;
    Verlander leads, Miggy Cab is a machine.
    Delmon Young is cool but rude (gimme a break);
    And Prince Fielder, is a party dude! A-HOY!

    Comment by harpago17 — October 29, 2012 @ 10:49 am

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