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A Clamping Impact Man: Tony La Russa’s Press Conference, Translated

Tony La Russa’s Monday press conference seems to have caused further confusion about his use of pitchers during Game 5 of this 2011 World Series. I thought I should try to parse La Russa’s explanation, so I used Yahoo’s Babelfish tool to translate Tony into German and then back again to English. I think this sheds more light on his true intentions. Questions are in their original tongue, punctuation was edited for clarity.

Q: Could you take us through the thought process leaving Rzepczynski to pitch to Napoli?

La Russa: Well which happened, was that twice the region didn’t hear Motte’s name. They heard Rzepczynski’s and it didn’t receive moth (as both loose received should). I looked and moth wasn’t there above going. Thus I demanded back moth and her rose Lynn. That’s why it wasn’t me today throw been supposed wasn’t in such a way, which goes letting it throw, this Schlagmann. It straight threw the preheating and went it and to moth was ready. I don’t know, if it were loud, probably material loud. It straight didn’t hear second time. They heard “Rzepczynski” and it didn’t hear “Motte” and as I back designated, said I “Moth,” they heard “Lynn.” Thus I went there, wrong chap out. He’s, which does not go throwing today. I said, “If you decrease/go back, keep ready” to moth. We’ll way the chap because I don’t wish Lynn — it is not to throw. I didn’t would like to injure it. And then moth came in. That’s why — it must be loud. I give credit note to the fans.

Q: Has that ever happened to you before where you had a call to the bullpen and guys didn’t hear you right?

La Russa: Yeah well sometimes it’s material loud, particularly if some the regions, which are quite under the fans and the excitement. It happens in Philadelphia. It’s strongly to hear to it there. So it’s not unusually. Possibly we must arise with some ear microphones or somewhat.

Q: Just to be clear, if Motte was ready, he would have faced Napoli?

La Russa: Yeah.

Q: So you had no choice at that point —

La Russa: It warmed up, therefore I said “Keep up” to moth; and they heard “Lynn.” But by the way, we had a probability with Rzepczynski’s material to receive to the Napoli of the first clock period and then he set a nice swinging on a crucial ball.

Q: Not to be dense, but what’s the sort of procedure in terms of when you guys have the phone call and call down there, who gets the word and how do they convey it?

La Russa: The region course it hears and as it heard “Lynn.”

Q: Oh, he heard “Lynn.”

La Russa: Yeah that’s why Lynn rose and I expired there. I thought that it was moth and they kreischten at me, while I out-went. I didn’t hear it. It wasn’t moth. Thus I saw Lynn. I, oh, went which you doing here?

Q: On the telephone he didn’t hear it?

Yeah if you say “Moth,” they heard “Lynn.” It wasn’t Lynn its been supposed because it wasn’t, which goes, throwing today.

Q: I think this was brought up earlier, but is there a problem when something like that can happen? Is there a better way to do it?

La Russa: Yeah of smoke signals of the Einbaum. There are times, resemble, what in Philadelphia it happened the telephone expired and thus we used mobile phones and then lowered the Phillies of Funksprechgeräte and they repaired the telephone. But this telephone in a loud baseball stadium, it’s not an unusual problem. I mean, it doesn’ t form it for right, but…

Q: You said it happened twice?

La Russa: When Rzepczynski rose first, I mention Motte’s name.

Q: So Motte ends up — did you want both of them to get up?

La Russa: Moth was in the process straight going along because I this we hoped receive the left-handed person out and then were we not in the term to throw to Napoli and then we were in the process going to Moreland. And then moth would have been ready, if they got into a clamping impact man.

Q: I guess this is a protocol question: If Lynn isn’t available for this game, doesn’t your bullpen coach know that —

La Russa He’s available in emergency, but I wasn’t, which goes, using it. But if it hears “Lynn” and I’m of the managers, which he will say?

Q: That’s why I was saying is there a protocol thing. Does he say, “Tony, are you sure on Lynn?” Or something like that?

La Russa: I’m safe he’s which that think now, but, if you hear somewhat, it had a day off, but, as I said, it wasn’t, which goes, throwing to play 6. I saw the large type to come in and I said, “Why are you here? He came to throw. “Go the chap,” because the following chap was in the process being thrown.

Q: One more clarification: Is that conversation between Dunc and Lilliquist?

La Russa: It depends of, whom the call forms. I formed the call.

Q: So you made both calls?

La Russa: Today I did.