A Genre Lives: Chipper Surrounded by Chips

It was with a sense of both agency and sexual uplift that I recently introduced the loins-first category known as “Men Surrounded by Things.” And then it was with a sense of almost imperceptible disrupt — like a godhead, phallus tensed, vaguely and amusedly aware of a fly in another universe’s outermost unmapped regions — that Mr. Cistulli’s unfortunate, flaccid, oozing, splotchy, papule-ridden prose — prose lampreyed on to an otherwise fetching image — caught my attention. There are things in this world that I am resigned to abide, but this is not one of them. And so I shall not. I dipped into my trillions and commissioned a rejoinder, since I can scarcely be bothered to do it myself.

And so Chris Cwik, known around the NotGraphs office as “Murray St. Gorgeous,” has saved the day, perhaps a genre once adored and most assuredly the streets. All at my bidding, of course. With the pride of the proud, I present his masterwork, “Chipper Jones surrounded by Chips”:

And the saints, people and dearly departed say: amen.

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

9 Responses to “A Genre Lives: Chipper Surrounded by Chips”

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  1. Eric says:

    Faith in humanity restored.

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  2. Well-Beered Englishman says:


    But is it Murray Street Gorgeous, Murray State Gorgeous, or Murray Saint Gorgeous? I am hoping for Saint.

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  3. The Rajah says:

    Why couldn’t you have put Bruce Jenner into the picture, too? ‘Cause if you wanted gorgeous…

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  4. Expert Analyst says:

    In the end, when it’s all said and done, aren’t we all just men surrounded by things?

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  5. Stoph says:

    I hope you have removed mr cistulli’s hall pass and placed him detention for the transgression.

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  6. deadhead says:

    I had written this series off when Cistulli temporarily took it off track. This was brilliant… thought provoking and a breath of fresh whimsy. “What shall Mr. Jones be surrounded by?”, I asked myself. Tortillas? Fried potatoe slices? An actual wood chipper? Alas, it was That hallmark of all that was fine and good in the halcyon days of the late 70s early 80s. I take back saying this jumped the shark.

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