A GIF of, and a Poem for, Joey Votto

Today when I got on the bus
I said to myself,
“It is like I don’t exist.”
At the doctor’s office on a papered table
in my boxer briefs
I was like,
It is like I do not exist.
When I am at home
in an armchair
when my mouth is full of food
or dong
when I pull a well-worn dollar bill
from my Genuine Leather wallet
wherever there are books,
websites, weirdos, women,
or dullards — or ducks, really: ducks
make me feel this way —
whenever I watch a drug dealer
teem w/ existential angst
on TV
I want to be a drug dealer and
it is like I do not exist.

When Joey Votto
wants to break a bat but does not
when Joey Votto curses himself —
in high socks, no less! —
when I noticed the elastic of knee-high knickers
at Joey Votto’s knees
when I closed my eyes
and saw nothing but Joey Votto’s
hairline it is like
I do exist,
am alive, am a part of everything
that there is
to be a part of
which is only one thing:
this world of shit
w/o which nothing would exist.

Would that Joey Votto will want to break a bat
at those moments
when I wonder
if there is life on other planets
for I am not large,

cannot get past
this earth.

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11 Responses to “A GIF of, and a Poem for, Joey Votto”

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  1. douglaslreed says:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. hmk says:

    notgraphs is like the onion of baseball

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  3. MonkeyEpoxy says:

    >when my mouth is full of dong

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  4. SteveBarnett says:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Nav says:

    Once again, you have brought me to tears, RJB.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. MacMariner says:

    Well that was bloody awesome. I love baseball.

    Vote -1 Vote +1