It is safe to say there is no question who would occupy the first spot on a hypothetical NotGraphs Mount Rushmore: the venerable Country Joe West, in all his glory. After Sir West, there is room for some debate, between a variety of figures:
Dick Allen – A big item among the, uh, less young members of the staff. Great hair, which would be profoundly difficult to properly recreate in stone.
Charlie Blackmon – A tremendous source of joy to one and all. But mostly Carson. Would surely increase handsomeness factor of monument, drastically needed after the necessary inclusion of West.
Delmon Young – Even if he’s not originally added, his history fiend ways will see him on our monument in the end.
Mark Reynolds When asked about his potential inclusion on a NotGraphs Mount Rushmore, Reynolds was quite apathetic.
Eliezer Alfonzo The initial protagonist of the thrilling “Secrets of Snake Juice” series, Alfonzo has earned his spot as a dark horse candidate.
The choices are plentiful, even with the probably untrue assumption I didn’t forget any deserving persons. I leave it to you, NotGraphs: who deserves to be on the NotGraphs Mount Rushmore?