A Sandbox Regret

Can we learn anything from the mysterious ways of the universe?

Probably not.

But here are some anagrams of the names of a few of baseball’s top prospects that may be able to give us some insight into their future success or failure:

James Paxton, P, Mariners: Met, Sox, Japan

Randall Delgado, P, Braves: A Gnarled Old Lad

Julio Teheran, P, Braves: Injure To Heal

Devin Mesoraco, C, Reds: Manic Overdose

Jedd Gyorko, 3B, Padres: Joky Dodger

Yasmani Grandal, C, Padres: A Damning Salary

Jake Odorizzi, P, Royals: Rookie I’d Jazz

Xander Bogaerts, SS, Red Sox: A Sandbox Regret

(Thanks, Internet Anagram Server)




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Brandon Warne
Member
Member

Awesome.

Brandon Warne
Member
Member

Justin Morneau – Jaunt Monsieur
Denard Span – Darned Span
Drew Butera – Beware Turd

therood
Member

The Chicago White Sox edition:

AJ Pierzynski – Jar Size Pinky
Dylan Axelrod – Loaded Larynx
Dayan Viciedo – Avoid Cyanide
Alex Rios – Axis Lore
Gordon Beckham – Mock Gonad Herb
Will Ohman – Man Who Ill
Brent Lillibridge – Inbred Gerbil Till
Paul Konerko – A Punker Look
Addison Reed – Dreaded Ions
Zach Stewart – Swat the Czar
Gavin Floyd – Gland of Ivy
Chris Sale – El Rich Ass
Robin Ventura – Naive Bro Turn

Honorary White Sox:
Frank Thomas – Format Shank
Warren Newson – Answer Renown
Norberto Martin – Brain Tormentor
Chris Snopek – Porsches Sink

I may have gone a bit overboard. Then again, this IS NotGraphs.

therood
Member

As an aside, “Dreaded Ions” would be an awesome actual nickname.

DD
Guest
DD

These make me lol.

MDL
Member
MDL

Some pseudo-random names:

Dustin Pedroia – Ordained Situp (and Unpaid Steroid)
Jacoby Ellsbury – Lab Lubes Cry Joy
Matt Cain – Attic Man
Yu Darvish – Rushy Diva
Ichiro Suzuki – No anagrams found :-(

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

Awesome time killer during a spring training game …

Astros
Fernando Abad- Banana Fodder
Jose Altuve- Jealous Vet
Kyle Weiland – Yanked Well I
Wandy Rodriguez – Nude Orgy Wizard
David Carpenter- A Candid Pervert
Humberto Quintero – Hombre Tourniquet
Paul Clemens- Penal Muscle
Carlos Corporan – Raccoon Parlors

Cardinals
Kyle Lohse – Hello Keys
Chris Carpenter- Racer Sphincter
Samuel Freeman – Females Manure
Matt Carpenter – Crap Treatment
Daniel Descalso – Cola Deadliness
Mark Hamilton- Hank Immortal
Carlos Beltran – Carnal Lobster
Erik Komatsu – Mature Kiosk

AustinRHL
Member
AustinRHL

These are amazing.

ettin
Guest
ettin

Thank God Jake wasn’t spelled Jike….

reillocity
Guest
reillocity

You should give Chuckie Fick a whirl, good sir.

Im a Knucklehead
Guest
Im a Knucklehead

Yovani Gallardo – Vagina Loyal Rod
Miguel Montero – Genome Termoil
Brad Peacock – Backdrop Ace**Should be new official nickname

Im Yovani Gallardo
Guest
Im Yovani Gallardo

I got a Vagina Loyal Rod right for ya. ZOOM!!

Dayn Perry
Editor
Member

Raccoon Parlors.

Guy
Guest
Guy

Adrian Gonzalez-Zero Anal Dazing
Dustin Pedroia-And I Steroid Up OR Did a Penis Tour

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