A Sandbox Regret

Can we learn anything from the mysterious ways of the universe?

Probably not.

But here are some anagrams of the names of a few of baseball’s top prospects that may be able to give us some insight into their future success or failure:

James Paxton, P, Mariners: Met, Sox, Japan

Randall Delgado, P, Braves: A Gnarled Old Lad

Julio Teheran, P, Braves: Injure To Heal

Devin Mesoraco, C, Reds: Manic Overdose

Jedd Gyorko, 3B, Padres: Joky Dodger

Yasmani Grandal, C, Padres: A Damning Salary

Jake Odorizzi, P, Royals: Rookie I’d Jazz

Xander Bogaerts, SS, Red Sox: A Sandbox Regret

(Thanks, Internet Anagram Server)

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

14 Responses to “A Sandbox Regret”

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  1. Justin Morneau – Jaunt Monsieur
    Denard Span – Darned Span
    Drew Butera – Beware Turd

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. therood says:

    The Chicago White Sox edition:

    AJ Pierzynski – Jar Size Pinky
    Dylan Axelrod – Loaded Larynx
    Dayan Viciedo – Avoid Cyanide
    Alex Rios – Axis Lore
    Gordon Beckham – Mock Gonad Herb
    Will Ohman – Man Who Ill
    Brent Lillibridge – Inbred Gerbil Till
    Paul Konerko – A Punker Look
    Addison Reed – Dreaded Ions
    Zach Stewart – Swat the Czar
    Gavin Floyd – Gland of Ivy
    Chris Sale – El Rich Ass
    Robin Ventura – Naive Bro Turn

    Honorary White Sox:
    Frank Thomas – Format Shank
    Warren Newson – Answer Renown
    Norberto Martin – Brain Tormentor
    Chris Snopek – Porsches Sink

    I may have gone a bit overboard. Then again, this IS NotGraphs.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. DD says:

    These make me lol.

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  4. MDL says:

    Some pseudo-random names:

    Dustin Pedroia – Ordained Situp (and Unpaid Steroid)
    Jacoby Ellsbury – Lab Lubes Cry Joy
    Matt Cain – Attic Man
    Yu Darvish – Rushy Diva
    Ichiro Suzuki – No anagrams found :-(

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. reillocity says:

    Awesome time killer during a spring training game …

    Fernando Abad- Banana Fodder
    Jose Altuve- Jealous Vet
    Kyle Weiland – Yanked Well I
    Wandy Rodriguez – Nude Orgy Wizard
    David Carpenter- A Candid Pervert
    Humberto Quintero – Hombre Tourniquet
    Paul Clemens- Penal Muscle
    Carlos Corporan – Raccoon Parlors

    Kyle Lohse – Hello Keys
    Chris Carpenter- Racer Sphincter
    Samuel Freeman – Females Manure
    Matt Carpenter – Crap Treatment
    Daniel Descalso – Cola Deadliness
    Mark Hamilton- Hank Immortal
    Carlos Beltran – Carnal Lobster
    Erik Komatsu – Mature Kiosk

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. ettin says:

    Thank God Jake wasn’t spelled Jike….

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  7. Im a Knucklehead says:

    Yovani Gallardo – Vagina Loyal Rod
    Miguel Montero – Genome Termoil
    Brad Peacock – Backdrop Ace**Should be new official nickname

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Dayn Perry says:

    Raccoon Parlors.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Guy says:

    Adrian Gonzalez-Zero Anal Dazing
    Dustin Pedroia-And I Steroid Up OR Did a Penis Tour

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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