A Sartorial Study of the Baseballing Fan

Introduction

While attending a baseball game on Monday, July 23 at the local baseball stadium in Seattle, Washington, the researcher (heretofore referred to as “the researcher”, or “I”) made the acute observation that other people were going to said baseball game. It was also observed that the researcher’s friend was quite late, and that he had the tickets. This unforeseen wealth of time and opportunity led to a scientific survey asking the question: what jerseys were other people wearing?

Methodology

Observations were made by standing at the corner of Occidental Avenue and Royal Brougham, across the street from the left field park entrance and next to a rather tired-looking scalper who clearly had difficulty determining what I was doing on his turf. The street corner was chosen in order to make observations based on south and eastbound traffic into the stadium, and reduce double-counting. For the purposes of this survey, any torso covering that sported a name or number was treated as a jersey, including T-shirt jerseys. Observations took place between 4:45pm and 6:05pm, at which time the researcher decided he’d had enough and went to get a cheap beer.

Analysis

Figures 1 and 2 show the results of the survey, providing a histogram for both Mariners and Yankees jerseys. Figure 2 is further broken down into two categories: those that had the player’s name on the back, and those that did not. “Personalized” categorizes those jerseys that had the fan’s own name on the back, or some nickname he wished other people would address him by, but who probably do not.

(Side note: don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t embiggen these pictures. It’s your right as a person.)

Figure 3, included below, is a tabulation of all non-Yankee, non-Mariner jerseys observed. This section is included for completeness, and in no way makes any statement about the human condition.

Conclusion

Based on our findings, we can make several assumptions about the fans who attended Monday night’s baseball game.

1. The most notable result of the survey is that 66% of the jerseys counted were New York-based. This is not because New York fans are better than Seattle fans, or more spirited. It is because Mariners fans are uncomfortable with wearing a short-sleeved garment to an event that ends after ten o’clock, no matter what time of year.

2. Yankees fans, in comparison to Mariners fans, were more likely to select “safe” players to wear. Of the 193 Yankees jerseys, only 8 could be said to be potentially risky choices, in the long-term: Swisher (3), Granderson (2), Chamberlain (1), Rivers (1), and Wang (1). Only Wang and potentially Joba could be considered ironic. 13 out of 98 Mariners jerseys qualified as being at least somewhat ridiculous.

3. More than half of the Yankees jerseys seen had the player’s name on the back, despite the fact that the real jerseys never do so. This seems particularly odd in light of the fact that many of the listed players have had their numbers retired, and could not possibly be confused with another player. Particularly jarring was a cheap T-shirt jersey, number five, with the word “DiMaggio” crammed unnaturally between the shoulder blades. The researcher does not know how to process this information.

4. There were just as many A-Rod Mariners jerseys as there were Yankees jerseys.  This is either weird or awesome.




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Patrick Dubuque is a wastrel and a general layabout. Many of the sites he has written for are now dead. Follow him on Twitter @euqubud.


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Kyle
Member
3 years 11 months ago

This is awesome. I am disappointed at the lack of Bedard jerseys.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 10 months ago

Does the A. Jones jersey count as 1/5 of a Bedard jersey?

olethros
Guest
olethros
3 years 11 months ago

What the hell is the “love pink” jersey about? I was at the Cubs/Cards series last weekend and saw dozens of the damn things.

olethros
Guest
olethros
3 years 11 months ago

Presumably it’s not what my gutter-dwelling mind wishes it were.

Kyle
Member
3 years 11 months ago

I believe the “Love Pink” is a Victoria’s Secret thing. Somehow they’ve managed to sell MLB merchandise with their name/logo/slogan all over it. Please don’t judge me.

Sixto L.
Guest
Sixto L.
3 years 10 months ago

JUDGED (you still wait for those catalogs with the excitement of your teenage self, I know you do.)

Mario Mendoza
Guest
Mario Mendoza
3 years 11 months ago

Either you made this up or I am very impressed with your ability to keep track of so many jerseys on the fly.

MustBunique
Member
Member
3 years 11 months ago

Wonderful work. Edgar was my favorite of the spotted jerseys, then I saw Milton Bradley, and THEN I saw Tuiasosopo. Fantastic stuff Seattle.

Sorry you got ditched, quite a walk from there to any bar if I can remember correctly. Saw a game there in 2010, remember shouting mean things at Franklin Gutierrez every time a ball went to center field and he didn’t catch it. That was the year after his UZR was other-worldy. I was mad that UZR wasn’t a good measure and took it out on poor Franklin. Then I had a hot dog with cream cheese and all was OK.

Tim
Guest
Tim
3 years 11 months ago

At least there weren’t any Ichiro Yankee jerseys.

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 10 months ago

Did the person who was wearing the Figgins jersey bear an uncanny resemblance to Chone Figgins?

henry
Guest
henry
3 years 10 months ago

no, but he did play baseball very similarly to figgins.

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