A Very Brief Message for Max Scherzer in re Tonight

To the Very Talented and Enigmatic Max Scherzer, Detroit Pitcher:

With regard to your start tonight against Boston — with regard to all your future starts, really — allow me to note, Mr. Scherzer, that you needn’t cross the Pennine or Graian hills, or traverse the Candavian waste, or face the Syrtes, or Scylla, or Charybdis in order to fully realize your innate excellence; the journey for which Nature has equipped you is safe and pleasant. She has given you such gifts that you may, if you do not prove false to them, rise level with God.

With All Due Reverence,
Carson Cistulli

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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

2 Responses to “A Very Brief Message for Max Scherzer in re Tonight”

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  1. Mr. Smooth says:

    You’re like a Trekkie, but for Max Scherzer.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Rob says:

    I’m still benching him. But I love him. You know platonic baseball love and stuff. His eyes.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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