Adam Dunn: The Quiet Angst of a Big Donkey

A recent and actual baseball headline:

The Quiet Angst of a Donkey

“Adam,” said Colette. “What ever is the matter? You are more distant and brooding than even your usual distant, brooding self.”

Adam Dunn stooped to extinguish his cigarette in an exquisite coil of hound poo. Ce que je viens de faire est le seul art dans le monde, he thought to himself. “Colette,” he said. “The boulevards at once console and mock me.”

“I have a searing love for you,” she said.

“Meaningless,” said Adam Dunn. “Let us make love for no other reason than force of ritual.”

The Quiet Angst of a Donkey II

(Curtsy: @LukeHoekstra, for bringing the abovely linked dispatch to the author’s attention)




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


9 Responses to “Adam Dunn: The Quiet Angst of a Big Donkey”

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  1. JerekDeterGiftBasket says:

    Est-ce pour rien que je batte les couilles? Merci Google Translate.

    Hee haw.

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  2. AF says:

    You’re a treasure, Dayn.

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  3. effortlesslyconstipated says:

    Cet article me tue, existentiellement. Je ressens la profonde tristesse écho à travers les mots, comme les cris meurent de cygnes flottant sur ​​l’étang. Ce n’est pas lié, mais les Mets de sucer.

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    • daniel says:

      “Let us make love for no other reason than force of ritual.”

      Biological programs to serve the lust of Id and successful genetic reproduction of Ego. The horror.

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  4. Yes says:

    If it’s a celebration of baseball that you want, Dayn Perry is the reason for the season.

    Side note, this comment box does not recognize “Dayn” as an actual word. There is a read squiggly line underneath it. Therefore, I will not recognize this comment box as an actual comment box.

    And thus ends my last comment on Notgraphs.

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  5. Mr. Observant says:

    I wonder how many times a month D. Appelman thinks to himself, “God Jehovah, what have I wrought, what with the creation of this foul den of inequity called the Not of Graphs?” Immediately thereafter, he must think, “Crud, I almost forget to get some milk. Also, I should make sure that unlettered, besotted whoremonger Dayn Perry never works in this virtual town again. Thus speaks David Appelman.” Thusly spoke David Appelman.

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  6. C'est la guerre says:

    Let us make the boum boum boum and call it love, for no other reason than we are French.

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  7. Resolution says:

    A quote from the article confirms everything in this post:

    “No, I don’t, I’m going to be honest,” the 34-year-old Dunn told MLB.com when asked if he sees himself as more than a power hitter. “I used to, and I don’t know what I’ve transformed into. I don’t know what this guy that I’ve been the last five or six years, I don’t know where it came from, but it is what it is now.

    “I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t know if it’s … I don’t know. You can’t, obviously you have to look yourself in the mirror and blame yourself. That’s kind of the only excuse that I got.

    “Have I got bad advice in the past? Sure, who hasn’t,” Dunn said. “Everyone has. But apparently I couldn’t weed it out.”

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  8. Crash Davis says:

    You’re in the wrong business, Jack, you’re Sears & Roebuck material!

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