Adrian Gonzalez Has Gotten to Second Base with the Desert

AGON

When a man has sexual feelings inside of himself, the way he generally wants to express them is by means of rubbing his hands awkwardly all over the object of his affections — a task which, upon completion, he commemorates by means either of a celebratory fist pump or other, similar celebratory gesture.

Photographic evidence from the cover of the Dodgers game-day program suggests that Adrian Gonzalez has completed such a task. For photographic evidence suggests that Adrian Gonzalez, first baseman of your Los Angeles Dodgers, has gotten to second base with the whole desert.




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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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Special Juan Lagares
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Special Juan Lagares
2 years 6 months ago

“Look at all of those cacti! Just imagine how much it would hurt if he gets to home plate!”

– Mike Minor

Francisco Rodriguez
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Francisco Rodriguez
2 years 6 months ago

Shut up!

Kris
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Kris
2 years 6 months ago

I like the part on page two where the reader is uncertain as to whether Gonzalez is exploring the Grand Canyon, or getting to Home with Cistulli’s mother.

Jenstrom
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Jenstrom
2 years 6 months ago

Happy birthday Carson! You’re the second-funniest baseball writer I’ve read.

Wally
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Wally
2 years 6 months ago

Niiiiice butte!

Kinda flat though:(

Jenstrom
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Jenstrom
2 years 6 months ago

Carson, I’ve been reading the Daily French Exercise archive and finding it very informative. I enjoy learning the French translations for common baseball terms such as games, innings, hits, home runs, etc. Ever thought about posting more installments now that you’re actually in France?

DistUrban Legend
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DistUrban Legend
2 years 6 months ago

I’m not sure if this makes you beavis or butthead…

Shrewd Cat
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Shrewd Cat
2 years 6 months ago

A-Gone has dirt on his knees. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.

Jesus Montero
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Jesus Montero
2 years 6 months ago

Big deal. I get to second base with dessert all the time!

triple-A city
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triple-A city
2 years 6 months ago

If he turns around, he can motorboat the desert’s boobies.

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