All Our Hope Resides In Cake, Delicious Cake

Benjamin Disraeli said that “Conservatism discards Prescription, shrinks from Principle, disavows Progress; having rejected all respect for antiquity, it offers no redress for the present, and makes no preparation for the future.”  Golly, he makes being conservative seem like absolutely no fun.  Wouldn’t you rather greet the future with optimism and wild-eyed hope, the better to be prepared for the non-stop techno dance party that your life is destined to become?

Take this intrepid soul, who has chosen to prepare for the inevitable rise of the Astros:

This baker is not concerned that the Astros have never started a season better than 6-0 in 50 seasons, nor have they ever won more than 12 straight games.  Instead, this baker poses with chin jutted upward, looking toward a better and brighter future.

Life has been pretty awful for Astros fans lately, sitting through 106 losses last year, 280 losses over the last three seasons, and four losing campaigns out of the last five.  They were in ownerless limbo for the better part of a calendar year, and just hired a GM after their first candidate rejected their advances.  Plus, they’re slated to join the American League after 2012.  But Houstonians, doesn’t it make you feel good to know that someone believes in you, even if their cake promises to grow stale and inedible before this accomplishment is even possible?

Wait…what?  Oh.

Strike that.  I have just been informed that this cake commemorates an Arkansas Little League team’s undefeated championship season.  Sorry, Astros fans.  That was a fun 20 seconds of hope though, right?

Anyway. Great job, kids.




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Mike Bates used to have a stupid pseudonym. Now he doesn't because people want to pay him to write about baseball on the Internet and he's really a sell out that way. He is also a Designated Columnist at SBNation, co-founder of The Platoon Advantage, and is an American Carpetbagger on Getting Blanked, the finest in Canadian baseball-type sites. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter here: http://www.twitter.com/commnman

8 Responses to “All Our Hope Resides In Cake, Delicious Cake”

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  1. Cody says:

    The cake is a lie!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. olethros says:

    You need to email that image to Summer on day 14 of each season.

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  3. glassSheets says:

    I clicked on the “Cakes” category to revel in its newest entry, and was affronted by a Kurt Suzuki Fan Club newsletter just below this entry. Please remedy this error and keep Cakes focused on food cake instead of ManCake.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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