Alternative Uses for $162 Million

The Mets’ ownership recently settled the infamous Bernie Madoff-related lawsuit for a reported $162 million. That money could have gone to much better uses, such as charities; or, better yet, the items listed below:

• 3.6 million: clipboards made of body armor.

• 1.62 million: buckets of baseballs

• 269,550: shares of Apple, Inc.

• 27,000: of these $6,000 toilets that include a touchscreen remote control and feet warmer.

• 6.37: seasons of Albert Pujols.

• 3.14159265: Cistullis.

• 1: episode’s worth of FCC fines accrued by Dayn Perry on FanGraphs Audio.

Oh, and a partridge in a pear tree.

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Zach is the creator and co-author of RotoGraphs' Roto Riteup series, and RotoGraphs' second-longest tenured writer. You can follow him on twitter.

4 Responses to “Alternative Uses for $162 Million”

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  1. ettin says:

    You also forgot that it would buy 1.13 Carl Crawford’s on the open market!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. MikeS says:

    Mmmmm…Cistulli pi….

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Jack says:

    Will, according to Dave Cameron, a win is 5 million dollars, so the Mets could have an additional 32 wins this year!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Someanalyst says:

    The relationship between “$1 million dollars per game for one season” and “Cistulli” is almost exactly equal to the relationship between “the circumference of a circle” and “its diameter”.

    There has got to be a novel investment strategy in there somewhere…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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