An Island Where a Baseball-Like Sport is Played

On a small volcanic island, about 200 miles off the coast of somewhere or other, two teams played a game. Essentially, that game was baseball. But with elevated base paths. After he crosses the fourth base, some 40 feet above home plate, the runner would leap and grab onto a rope suspended between wooden pillars, and slide down, out over the ocean, and at the end of the rope, the player would leap into a rubber ring target.

The game we see in progress is between two teams called FanGraphs and NotGraphs. This is purely a coincidence and not related to the popular baseball-related Web sites with similar names. It’s the top of the 9th. FanGraphs are batting, and have already scored one run this inning, tying the game at 2-2. They have a runner on 3rd, and two outs.

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If you want to know who wins this game, be sure to look out for part two of this post, which will be coming to NotGraphs about a week after the World Series ends.

This post is brought to you by Robinson’s Hamburgers: We Make ‘Em Bigger Just Like What Happens If You Click The Above Images™




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Craig Robinson is not a Child, a God, a Pilgrim, a Rock, the Forest, the Resurrection, the Cosmos, the Law, or Damo Suzuki. Nor is he trying to break your heart. He does have a Web site, though. It's called Flip Flop Flyin'.


55 Responses to “An Island Where a Baseball-Like Sport is Played”

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  1. Brian says:

    THAT FOUL TERRITORY IS A JOKE

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. stuck in a slump says:

    If NTG wins, Carson should get fired and NotGraphs lives on!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Kris says:

      I don’t think you quite grasp artistic representation and symbolism — Cistulli isn’t a player, Cistulli is the Volcano. One might assume that Cistulli is represented by a Volcano because he is the worst. That is true but is it the *most* true? As someone with one art history class to his name, I’ll state that the proper interpretation of this piece is that Cistulli is the gigantic volcano because only the volcano has an equally gigantic used tampon hanging from it.

      Scroll back to the top, and tell me you don’t see that tampon. That’s what i thought.

      +13 Vote -1 Vote +1

      • a eskpert says:

        Perhaps ’tis more that Cistulli views himself as a sort of Volcano: it will erupt and violently alter the terrain, but ultimately proving itself a force for revitrification. Of course, if he thinks that, he’s full of shit, because Notgraphs is the source of all life and vitality.

        Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. gump says:

    I’ll give 2 to 1 odds the volcano erupts

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Lyle Lanley says:

    Looks like this island could use a a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car Monorail!

    +8 Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Hotdog says:

    I want a hamburger that looks like a hotdog now…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Matt says:

    Robinson’s hamburger is a hot dog. Ballpark meats are a flat circle.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Pseu says:

    How are non-force outs made on the bases?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. AC says:

    Too. Many. Questions!
    Does the player score when they reach the platform above home, or when they reach the ring? Can the defense sacrifice a defender and position somebody in the ring for long throws to tag the runner, or do they get a 10th player for just that purpose? Although the rest of the defenders are pictured, there doesn’t appear to be anybody in the ring, so why isn’t the runner on 3rd going for it; there’s nobody to tag him out?!

    But most importantly, why does the rowboat (presumably there to pick up scoring players who can’t swim), need to be approximately 50 ft long?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Craig Robinson says:

      Player scores when he reaches the elevated home plate. The slide and ring stuff is just to annoy the Fun Police.

      Re. the boat: beer supplies.

      +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

      • Yirmiyahu says:

        There’s no pulley or attached to the rope that you hold onto? Friction is a bitch.

        And how would anyone on Team Notgraphs score? Lack of athletic ability aside, wouldn’t they all be too afraid to ascend the basepath once it got more than a couple feet off the ground?

        Does the hamburger stand sell hamburgers or hot dogs?

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  9. scb says:

    Cistulli made the error, right?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Kris says:

    All of the players look Dominican. Are you sure one of the teams isn’t the Blue Jays?

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  11. Zach Sanders says:

    If you want to know who wins this game, be sure to look out for part two of this post, which will be coming to NotGraphs about a week after the World Series ends.

    To see this, we’ll have to #KeepNotGraphs

    +15 Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. mario mendoza says:

    This is how MLB solves the C-in-the-lane problem.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. RunTeddyRun says:

    Soft-tossing LOOGY Carson Cistulli balks, runners advance, game over, Fangraphs wins. Cistulli’s the worst.

    +14 Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. LithiumLi3 says:

    How many right handed pull hitters have taken one off their head after their hit ricochets off the home pole?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. Blueyays says:

    A WEEK AFTER THE WORLD SERIES ENDS – DOES THIS MEAN NOTGRAPHS LIVES?!?!?!?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. Must consult the book of Myst to solve this post.

    Do not wish to free Achenar’son Cistulli on accident.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. M.S. Solstice says:

    I do hope that by Robinson you mean Mr. Crusoe.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. KCDaveInLA says:

    It looks like baseball got it on with the Wipeout final course (which would obviously be awesome).

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  19. Jason B says:

    1) Lots of people milling about in foul territory.

    2) Those outfielders are playing DEEP. Who amongst the FsnGraphers would have such prodigious power to inspire such a thing? (Or, moer likely, do the NotGraphers just not know how to position themselves?)

    3) Regarding that FanGrapher with the bat:
    (a) I’ve never seen anyone hold a bat in such a way ever.
    (b) Cool black hightops, pencil thin ankles.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. P Hound says:

    If a game between Fangraphs and Notgraphs takes place on an otherwise deserted island, with no stadium accommodations for spectators (or amenities–the burger-dog company apparently used all of it’s money to buy a sign, and alas had none left to actual open a restaurant at which to serve their confusingly-shaped fare)did it really happen? Or perhaps the better question, why must Notgraphs die?

    #KeepNotGraphs

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • reillocity says:

      This must be the metaphor. The island is NotGraphs, a place where a baseball-like sport is discussed. And it is about be finished off by FanGraphs because too few people come to NotGraphs.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. Manny Mota says:

    A bunt up the first base line would be impossible to defend!!! MWA hahahahahaha.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. MDL says:

    Too bad Fangraphs tied it up in the top of the 9th; I guess there’s no chance of a Save for Notgraphs.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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