Anagram Contest

kershaw

Winners get their anagrams featured in a post later this week! What a prize!

These will not be the winners:
JUSTIN UPTON: Justin Up? Not.
MIKE TROUT: Mike Tutor
STEPHEN STRASBURG: Pets Banter, Shrugs
ANDREW MCCUTCHEN: Mac Crunched Newt
CLAYTON KERSHAW: Cy Heals War Knot
JUSTIN VERLANDER: Revel, Ninja Turds
BJ UPTON: BJ Up? Not.

These are a little better:
DUSTIN PEDROIA: Pa, I Dun Steroid!
BUSTER POSEY: Super Best, Yo.

(No, this is not the first time I’ve posted about anagrams.)




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson
3 years 4 months ago

Kevin Youkilis: Evil I Oinks Yuk.

Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson
3 years 4 months ago

Slightly more serious:

Nick Swisher: Screw His Kin.

Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson
3 years 4 months ago

And Curtis Granderson: Crusading Snorter.

marklxndr
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

MARC RZEPCZYNSKI:
“Pink Czar’s Merczy”

Matt
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

MARTIN PRADO: A Random Trip
TIM HUDSON: Humid Snot
CRAIG KIMBREL: Grim Like Crab

Resolution
Guest
Resolution
3 years 4 months ago

Trot Nixon: Tron Toxin

CreativeMace
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Jim Leyland = A jelly mind

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Milton Bradley: Rabidly Molten, Notably Milder

Clark D
Guest
Clark D
3 years 4 months ago

Nick Punto: Punk Tonic

Chris Cwik
Member
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Madison Bumgarner: Bang me, Mr. Dinosaur

Clark D
Guest
Clark D
3 years 4 months ago

Roger Clemens: Semen Clog…err

diegosanchez
Guest
diegosanchez
3 years 4 months ago

Milton Bradley: Barmen dill toy
Mark Teixeira: Area remix kit
Nolan Reimold: Darn lemon oil
Santiago Casilla: Is it anal coal gas?

diegosanchez
Guest
diegosanchez
3 years 4 months ago

Colby Rasmus: Yo Mr. Ass club
Juan Pierre: Rape, injure

seattle matt
Guest
seattle matt
3 years 4 months ago

Stephen Strasburg, he gets pants burrs.

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler
3 years 4 months ago

CARSON CISTULLI: Local Crisis Nut

Dan Rozenson
Guest
Dan Rozenson
3 years 4 months ago

Heartily endorsed.

diegosanchez
Guest
diegosanchez
3 years 4 months ago

or “racist scullion”

And just in case you didn’t know what that is…
scullion (n): A servant employed to do menial tasks in a kitchen.

Brandon
Guest
Brandon
3 years 4 months ago

Madison Bumgarner – I mad gram boner us

dockmarm
Guest
dockmarm
3 years 4 months ago

STARLIN CASTRO – Tractor snails
DARWIN BARNEY – Barnyard wine

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Billy Butler: Liberty Bull
Evan Longoria: Regional Nova
Yuniesky Betancourt: Yucky, Tenebrious Ant

Tony Clifton
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

I didn’t come up with this one, but it makes me crack up every time I see it:

Yuniesky Betancourt: Batter Nine You Sucky

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Yadier Molina: Oily Marinade
Carlos Beltran: Carnal Lobster

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 4 months ago

Of the Cards/Stros anagrams that I posted from the internet anagram server in the comments of the prior post Blachman cited, I do like Carnal Lobster the best. Raccoon Parlors (Carlos Corporan) is also sweet – I’m imagining these as an affordable alternative to massage parlors.

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler
3 years 4 months ago

DAYN PERRY: randy prey

olethros
Guest
olethros
3 years 4 months ago

Ugly Dickshot, Gout Sky Child

Nick
Guest
Nick
3 years 4 months ago

Xander Bogarts: Sox Grander Bat or Red Sox Gran Bat

scatterbrian
Guest
scatterbrian
3 years 4 months ago

Yoenis Cespedes = Posey Scene Dies
Coco Crisp = I Cop Crocs
Josh Reddick = Jocks Did Her

reillocity
Guest
reillocity
3 years 4 months ago

Josh Red Dick and DJ Horsedick are also discussion-worthy.

Big Daddy V
Guest
Big Daddy V
3 years 4 months ago

DELMON YOUNG – Ungodly Omen

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
3 years 4 months ago

Satchel Paige = Pitches gas-e

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
3 years 4 months ago

OK, maybe not…

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
3 years 4 months ago

Satchel Paige = Pitches algae

Bruce
Guest
Bruce
3 years 4 months ago

Fernando Rodney – Fanned Yon Order
Brian Wilson – Blown Raisin
Lucas Duda – Casual Dud
Alex Rodriguez – Regularized Ox

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
3 years 4 months ago

Rogearvin Bernadina = A Bored Nirvana Reign
Ian Desmond = Damned Ions!
Jayson Werth = Enjoys Wrath OR Watery Johns

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
3 years 4 months ago

Dan Haren = A Darn Hen

LJC
Guest
LJC
3 years 4 months ago

Ugueth Urbina = Hug A Urine Tub
John Burkett = Hot Bunt Jerk
Bobby Bonilla = Baby Blob Loin
Justin Smoak = Jams Skin Out
Jack Morris = Sir Ram Jock
Kevin Maas = Naïve Mask
Ruben Rivera = Urbane River

Nick
Guest
Nick
3 years 4 months ago

David Aardsma: A Dads Diva Arm

Big Daddy V
Guest
Big Daddy V
3 years 4 months ago

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM – Analgesia Ale of Shlong Semen

Big Daddy V
Guest
Big Daddy V
3 years 4 months ago

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM – Seasonal Genie, Shlong Aflame

Big Jgke
Member
Big Jgke
3 years 4 months ago

Jeremy Irons: Jeremy’s Iron.

Nick
Guest
Nick
3 years 4 months ago

Alex Rodriguez: Drug 1, Alex Zero.
I need a little help making the I a 1 but it’s close enough.

juan pierres mustache
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

Jeremy Blachman: Manly Jam Breech

The Rajah
Guest
The Rajah
3 years 4 months ago

Tyrus Cobb = Crusty Bob
Babe Ruth = Rehab Tub
Tom Glavine = Vital gnome or mating vole
Mike Piazza = Make pizza I
Joe Morgan = Jar ’em, go on

Bradley Woodrum
Member
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Was “I Make Pizza” too banal?

Jaack
Guest
Jaack
3 years 4 months ago

Dayton Moore’s Kansas City Royals: Yo, Sans Analysis Dork: Team Cry Too

chronosaurus
Guest
chronosaurus
3 years 4 months ago

Ken Griffey Junior = King of Free Injury
Barry Bonds = Brandy Bros
Sammy Sosa = Mayo’s Mass
Lance Berkman = Brakemen Clan
Mariano Rivera = Naive Air Armor

ettin
Guest
ettin
3 years 4 months ago

Peter Bourjos: Sour Peter Job

Kendrys Morales: Mans Sore Dry Elk

Wil Myers: Wry Smile

Chris Sale: Chess Liar

Clark D
Guest
Clark D
3 years 4 months ago

Michael Napoli: An Ill Hip Cameo

jcxy
Guest
jcxy
3 years 4 months ago

Midre Cummings: Mired Cummings

Sir Loin
Guest
Sir Loin
3 years 4 months ago

Alexis Rios = A Sex Oil Sir

Sir Loin
Guest
Sir Loin
3 years 4 months ago

Steve Balboni: A Blob In Steve

Matt
Guest
3 years 4 months ago

Johan Santana: Santa Johanna

diegosanchez
Guest
diegosanchez
3 years 4 months ago

Na, Johan Santa

MDL
Member
MDL
3 years 4 months ago

Buster Posey: Yet Sobers Up
Will Middlebrooks: Blooded Milk Swirl

Valen Dreth
Guest
Valen Dreth
3 years 4 months ago

Pablo Sandoval: Panda Oval Slob

olethros
Guest
olethros
3 years 4 months ago

Tony LaRussa, Sour Analyst

Lenard
Member
Member
Lenard
3 years 4 months ago

Giancarlo Stanton: Carnal Instant Goo

olethros
Guest
olethros
3 years 4 months ago

Instant Carnal Goo is better.

Tim
Guest
Tim
3 years 4 months ago

Instant carnal’s goona getcha.

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

In regards to defense, and ruins saved:

Raul Ibanez: Ablaze Ruin
Elvis Andrus: Salved Ruins

Steve
Guest
Steve
3 years 4 months ago

Robin Yount: In Run Booty

Clark D
Guest
Clark D
3 years 4 months ago

Mike Stanton: Name Tisn’t OK

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Boy, so many of these could pass for actual nicknames. A few more that pass the snicker test:

Ryan Doumit: Dairy Mount
Nick Swisher: Winch Kisser
Matt Wieters: Sweater Mitt, Meat Twister
Robinson Cano: Carbon Onions
Dan Uggla: Dung Gala
Dustin Pedroia: Ruddiest Piano
Jhonny Peralta: Planetary John
Miguel Cabrera: Amebic Regular
Adrian Beltre: Lariat Bender
Kyle Seager: Geek Slayer
Alex Rodriguez: Regularized Ox
Ryan Braun: Urban Yarn
Sammy Sosa: Sassy Ammo

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman
3 years 4 months ago

“Dan Uggla: Dung Gala”

This is one of the most player-appropriate so far.

Choo
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Alas, every baseball anagram between now and the end of time is in a battle for 2nd behind the unbeatable “Ungodly Omen.”

LJC
Guest
LJC
3 years 4 months ago

Mike Pagliarulo: Makeup Grail Oil

Sai
Guest
Sai
3 years 4 months ago

Carlos Santana: Anal Arson Acts – bonus points for alliteration?

samuelraphael
Member
3 years 4 months ago

Boof Bonser – Sob of Boner

Resolution
Guest
Resolution
3 years 4 months ago

why not Boofs Boner? Occam’s razor, homie

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