Anagram Contest


Winners get their anagrams featured in a post later this week! What a prize!

These will not be the winners:
JUSTIN UPTON: Justin Up? Not.
MIKE TROUT: Mike Tutor
STEPHEN STRASBURG: Pets Banter, Shrugs
JUSTIN VERLANDER: Revel, Ninja Turds

These are a little better:
DUSTIN PEDROIA: Pa, I Dun Steroid!
BUSTER POSEY: Super Best, Yo.

(No, this is not the first time I’ve posted about anagrams.)

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Want more Hopeless Joe even after NotGraphs ends? Check out Hopeless Joe's Kickstarter campaign and join the hopeless march toward new, exclusive content. Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

85 Responses to “Anagram Contest”

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  1. Dan Rozenson says:

    Kevin Youkilis: Evil I Oinks Yuk.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. marklxndr says:

    “Pink Czar’s Merczy”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Matt says:

    MARTIN PRADO: A Random Trip
    TIM HUDSON: Humid Snot
    CRAIG KIMBREL: Grim Like Crab

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Resolution says:

    Trot Nixon: Tron Toxin

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. CreativeMace says:

    Jim Leyland = A jelly mind

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Choo says:

    Milton Bradley: Rabidly Molten, Notably Milder

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Clark D says:

    Nick Punto: Punk Tonic

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Chris Cwik says:

    Madison Bumgarner: Bang me, Mr. Dinosaur

    +25 Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Clark D says:

    Roger Clemens: Semen Clog…err

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. diegosanchez says:

    Milton Bradley: Barmen dill toy
    Mark Teixeira: Area remix kit
    Nolan Reimold: Darn lemon oil
    Santiago Casilla: Is it anal coal gas?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. seattle matt says:

    Stephen Strasburg, he gets pants burrs.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. Danny Knobgobbler says:

    CARSON CISTULLI: Local Crisis Nut

    +8 Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. Brandon says:

    Madison Bumgarner – I mad gram boner us

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. dockmarm says:

    STARLIN CASTRO – Tractor snails
    DARWIN BARNEY – Barnyard wine

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. Choo says:

    Billy Butler: Liberty Bull
    Evan Longoria: Regional Nova
    Yuniesky Betancourt: Yucky, Tenebrious Ant

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. Choo says:

    Yadier Molina: Oily Marinade
    Carlos Beltran: Carnal Lobster

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • reillocity says:

      Of the Cards/Stros anagrams that I posted from the internet anagram server in the comments of the prior post Blachman cited, I do like Carnal Lobster the best. Raccoon Parlors (Carlos Corporan) is also sweet – I’m imagining these as an affordable alternative to massage parlors.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. Danny Knobgobbler says:

    DAYN PERRY: randy prey

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. olethros says:

    Ugly Dickshot, Gout Sky Child

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  19. Nick says:

    Xander Bogarts: Sox Grander Bat or Red Sox Gran Bat

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. scatterbrian says:

    Yoenis Cespedes = Posey Scene Dies
    Coco Crisp = I Cop Crocs
    Josh Reddick = Jocks Did Her

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. Big Daddy V says:

    DELMON YOUNG – Ungodly Omen

    +21 Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. The Rajah says:

    Satchel Paige = Pitches gas-e

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  23. Bruce says:

    Fernando Rodney – Fanned Yon Order
    Brian Wilson – Blown Raisin
    Lucas Duda – Casual Dud
    Alex Rodriguez – Regularized Ox

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  24. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Rogearvin Bernadina = A Bored Nirvana Reign
    Ian Desmond = Damned Ions!
    Jayson Werth = Enjoys Wrath OR Watery Johns

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  25. LJC says:

    Ugueth Urbina = Hug A Urine Tub
    John Burkett = Hot Bunt Jerk
    Bobby Bonilla = Baby Blob Loin
    Justin Smoak = Jams Skin Out
    Jack Morris = Sir Ram Jock
    Kevin Maas = Naïve Mask
    Ruben Rivera = Urbane River

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  26. Nick says:

    David Aardsma: A Dads Diva Arm

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  27. Big Daddy V says:

    LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM – Analgesia Ale of Shlong Semen

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  28. Big Jgke says:

    Jeremy Irons: Jeremy’s Iron.

    +15 Vote -1 Vote +1

  29. Nick says:

    Alex Rodriguez: Drug 1, Alex Zero.
    I need a little help making the I a 1 but it’s close enough.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  30. Jeremy Blachman: Manly Jam Breech

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  31. The Rajah says:

    Tyrus Cobb = Crusty Bob
    Babe Ruth = Rehab Tub
    Tom Glavine = Vital gnome or mating vole
    Mike Piazza = Make pizza I
    Joe Morgan = Jar ‘em, go on

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  32. Jaack says:

    Dayton Moore’s Kansas City Royals: Yo, Sans Analysis Dork: Team Cry Too

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  33. chronosaurus says:

    Ken Griffey Junior = King of Free Injury
    Barry Bonds = Brandy Bros
    Sammy Sosa = Mayo’s Mass
    Lance Berkman = Brakemen Clan
    Mariano Rivera = Naive Air Armor

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  34. ettin says:

    Peter Bourjos: Sour Peter Job

    Kendrys Morales: Mans Sore Dry Elk

    Wil Myers: Wry Smile

    Chris Sale: Chess Liar

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  35. Clark D says:

    Michael Napoli: An Ill Hip Cameo

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  36. jcxy says:

    Midre Cummings: Mired Cummings

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  37. Sir Loin says:

    Alexis Rios = A Sex Oil Sir

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  38. Sir Loin says:

    Steve Balboni: A Blob In Steve

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  39. Matt says:

    Johan Santana: Santa Johanna

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  40. MDL says:

    Buster Posey: Yet Sobers Up
    Will Middlebrooks: Blooded Milk Swirl

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  41. Valen Dreth says:

    Pablo Sandoval: Panda Oval Slob

    +10 Vote -1 Vote +1

  42. olethros says:

    Tony LaRussa, Sour Analyst

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  43. Lenard says:

    Giancarlo Stanton: Carnal Instant Goo

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  44. Choo says:

    In regards to defense, and ruins saved:

    Raul Ibanez: Ablaze Ruin
    Elvis Andrus: Salved Ruins

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  45. Steve says:

    Robin Yount: In Run Booty

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  46. Clark D says:

    Mike Stanton: Name Tisn’t OK

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  47. Choo says:

    Boy, so many of these could pass for actual nicknames. A few more that pass the snicker test:

    Ryan Doumit: Dairy Mount
    Nick Swisher: Winch Kisser
    Matt Wieters: Sweater Mitt, Meat Twister
    Robinson Cano: Carbon Onions
    Dan Uggla: Dung Gala
    Dustin Pedroia: Ruddiest Piano
    Jhonny Peralta: Planetary John
    Miguel Cabrera: Amebic Regular
    Adrian Beltre: Lariat Bender
    Kyle Seager: Geek Slayer
    Alex Rodriguez: Regularized Ox
    Ryan Braun: Urban Yarn
    Sammy Sosa: Sassy Ammo

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  48. LJC says:

    Mike Pagliarulo: Makeup Grail Oil

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  49. Sai says:

    Carlos Santana: Anal Arson Acts – bonus points for alliteration?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  50. Boof Bonser – Sob of Boner

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  51. gob says:

    joe adcock– A Coed Jock

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  52. jcxy says:

    Eno Sarris- Sir Reason

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  53. Matthew says:

    Dick Allen: Kill Dance

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  54. nitro2831 says:

    Daniel Murphy: Daniel Murphy

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  55. NorthOf49 says:

    RA DICKEY: Irk Decay
    DAVID COOPER: Recap – Do Void
    EMILIO BONIFACIO: I, Infima Coil Oboe
    KYLE DRABEK: Raked By Elk
    MAICER IZTURIS: A Ritzier Music

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  56. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Joe Buck and Tim McCarver:

    Dim Jock, Vacant Cerebrum

    +24 Vote -1 Vote +1

  57. murphym45 says:

    Adam Wainwright – Might Win A Award

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  58. Matt says:

    Jose Bautista: A beast I joust.

    Edwin Encarnacion: Winner! And cocaine.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  59. Grady Sizemore: Dream size orgy

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  60. therood says:

    Andrew Cashner: Her New Canards
    Carlos Quentin: Nascent Liquor
    Drew Butera: Beware Turd
    Dan Uggla: Dung Gala
    Adam Lind: Damn Laid

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  61. KB says:

    MATT HOLLIDAY: Ill at Moth Day

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  62. TZ says:

    Wilson Betemit: El Sin Tim Tebow

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  63. DERP says:

    MARTIN PRADO – Nitram Odarp

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  64. tz says:

    Scott Boras: C. T. Ass Robot

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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