Answering a Twitter Question about Darwin Barney

Does anyone on Twitter have any questions about Cubs second baseman Darwin Barney? You? Yes, go ahead, sir.

Ah, yes. Very good question. Yes, he was. A giant ascot, in fact — an ascot on loan to him by an ent …

The discerning tastes of Darwin Barney

Despite appearances, Darwin Barney will not ravish the help or drunkenly crash one of his motorcars into the hedgerow. Sometimes a gentlemanly appearance veils an actual gentleman. So it is in the case of Actual Gentleman Darwin Barney.

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Pretzels Getzien
Pretzels Getzien

That, squire, is not an ascot. ‘Tis a day cravat. And it is inappropriate attire for formal occasions, such as a contest of base and balls. Mr. Barney’s unaccountable gaucherie has been noticed.