Aroldis Chapman Arrested For Speeding…
You may have heard that Aroldis Chapman was arrested for speeding yesterday.
In other breaking news:
- Francisco Liriano arrested for jaywalking.
- Cole Hamels arrested for child abuse.
- Jaime Moyer arrested for loitering.
- Brett Lawrie arrested for disorderly conduct.
- Emilio Bonifacio arrested for not coming to a complete stop.
- Michael Bourn arrested for hit and run.
- Carlos Lee arrested for larceny.
- Giancarlo Stanton arrested for breaking and entering.
- Josh Hamilton arrested for illegally discharging a weapon.
- Albert Pujols arrested for illegally carrying a concealed weapon.
- Jim Johnson arrested for vigilantism.
- Chuck Knoblauch arrested for sexual harassment.
- Mariano Rivera’s ACL arrested for obstruction of justice.
Summer Anne Burton is a writer and illustrator living in Austin, Texas. She is drawing pictures of Every Hall of Famer.
Irony
Only 93mph? His velocity’s down.
if you just got arrested for driving slower than you throw… you’re probably Aroldis Chapman
Or Livan Hernandez in a school zone.
Or Jamie Moyer Sitting Down.
Looks like Sheriff Joe West has been cleaning up this town.
Some kind law enforcement officer or employee of the Reds needs to remind El Hombre that he has, in point of fact, already escaped the clutches of his nefarious Communist homeland and need not drive like a madman anymore. Just sayin’…
Someone needs to remind slow-witted and slow-footed Americans that 93 mph is not particularly fast, and certainly doesn’t constitute driving like a “madman”. Just sayin’…
someone needs to remind slow witted americans that cuba is not a hellhole that everyone within it hates.