Ask NotGraphs (#10)

Dear NotGraphs,

Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m stuck with Justin Morneau, what do I do?

(Asking if he wants to play hockey, notwithstanding)

Hey Morneau Owner,

Not so worried now, eh? You wrote a few weeks ago, and I’m glad I saved the question until now, because instead of agreeing that owning Morneau is a terrible problem to have and you should cut him– 7 for 14 over his last 4 games, 3 home runs, Morneau is awesome and I wish I had drafted him. Maybe he’ll even play first base one of these days too.

Not convinced this 4-day spring training outburst is for real? Shame on you!

Find someone who is, and TRADE HIM. TRADE HIM TRADE HIM TRADE HIM WHILE YOU CAN. TRADE HIM NOW, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. TRADE HIM TRADE HIM TRADE HIM.

Good luck,
Jeremy

Have a question for Ask NotGraphs!? I’m running low again, so I sure hope you do! Guaranteed answer, or your money back. I don’t even care if it’s about baseball. E-mail me, or leave your question in the comments!




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


2 Responses to “Ask NotGraphs (#10)”

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  1. jaw says:

    Sound advice.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Marv says:

    Sound advice? Probably.

    On the other hand, the upside is potentially huge. A very talented player.
    This season will determine whether Morneau still has a career in baseball.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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