Ask NotGraphs (#18)

Dear NotGraphs,

I anxiously await a memoir from my favorite pitcher of relatively recent retirement: Greg Maddux. What are the chances he’ll write such a thing? Would a Kickstarter project boost the odds significantly?



Oh, man, Maddux had better write a memoir. Is there any recent player with a greater reputation for intelligence as part of his game?

[Wikipedia note:

Publicly, however, Maddux is dismissive of his reputation, saying, “People think I’m smart? You know what makes you smart? Locate your fastball down and away. That’s what makes you smart. You talk to Sandy Koufax, Bob Gibson, or Tom Seaver. They’ll all tell you the same thing. It’s not your arm that makes you a great pitcher. It’s that thing between both of your ears we call a brain.” Link.]

Your question makes me want to start a new series: Excerpts from As-Yet-Unwritten Ballplayer Memoirs. But where do you start with someone like Maddux? I don’t know yet, but I’ll think about it over the weekend and if anyone wants to throw some ideas in the comments, maybe that’s a post you’ll see next week.

But to answer your question– odds he’ll write one? I’d say they’re pretty good. After all, John Smoltz, Javy Lopez, and Tom Glavine already have memoirs, so why shouldn’t Maddux? In fact, Maddux is mentioned in a ton of other baseball player memoirs, famous and not-so-much: Ron Santo, Dirk Hayhurst, Andre Dawson, Chris Coste, Steve Stone, Sammy Sosa, Joe Torre, Gary Carter, Shawn Green, David Cone, Orel Hershiser, Mitch Williams, Don Zimmer, Larry Bowa, and Larry Dierker. (Thanks, Amazon!)

As far as Kickstarter, I don’t know. Don’t really think Maddux needs the money. I think he’ll write one — or a sportswriter will make a convincing ghostwriter argument, at least — but if he doesn’t, maybe we can all do it together in the comments and we can make a fake Greg Maddux autobiography NotGraphs e-book. Sound like a plan?

Thanks for the question,

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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4 years 4 months ago

Can it just be a .pdf though and not an e-book? I spent all my money on that Coach ‘used baseball glove billfold’ and can’t afford an e-reader…