Ask NotGraphs (#21)

Dear NotGraphs,

In my dynasty league, my brother offered me Bubba Starling Castro for Josh Willinghamilton. Do you think it would be worth it in the long run?

7th Place

7th Place,

Hmmm. Interesting. I suppose it depends on what the rest of your team looks like. If you’re struggling up the middle — if, say, you’ve got someone like Jon-Mike Avilester giving you half-time at second base, and, say, Alcides-Darwin Escobarney and Elvis Andrus Canzler filling out your roster, then there’s a lot to be gained from adding Bubba Starling Castro, even though you won’t see the outfield piece of that until perhaps 2014 or even later. And while Willinghamilton is having a strong 2012, there’s no guarantee that any part of that future will be nearly as bright as what’s happening now, not with the multiple injuries in the past, half-drug abuse, etc.

But I think you can get more for Willinghamilton than a shortstop who won’t be playing the outfield for years to come. I’m not saying anyone’s going to give you J. Weaverlander, but Cole Hamelky Cabrera could be someone to target, or maybe you want to buy low on Tim Collincecum. If it’s prospects you’re after, Brandon Jacob(s) Turner might be in play, and depending on your league’s scoring categories, Archie Bradley Cooper could be a good play if People’s Choice Awards are worth a bunch. Also, Anthony Rendonald Rumsfeld if you get extra points for former Cabinet members.

I’ll tell you, though, with the way Casey Kotchman has been hitting, and what I expect will happen with the global economy, my biggest trade target would be Matt LaPortugal. (And stay away from Emilio Bonifacebook, because his stock has been dropping fast.)

Good luck,

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Nice. Chuckled all the way through, and then lost it on the last name in the last line. I’m not really supposed to laugh out loud in my cubicle farm here. Thanks for that.

Well done.