Ask NotGraphs (#22)

Dearest NotGraphs,

What does the launch of FanGraphs Q&A mean for Ask NotGraphs? Do you feel that Dark Overlord Appelman is abusing his powers and encroaching on your territory? If so, I am certain the unwashed, besexed readers of NotGraphs will stand by your side in the fight against against Appelman and his exquisite abs.

A Young Revolutionary

Dear Young Revolutionary,

First of all, thanks for the question, because I am at the bottom of the barrel…. BUT! NOT ANYMORE! FanGraphs Q&A not only will not encroach on the sacred Ask NotGraphs territory, but your e-mail makes me realize I can use FanGraphs Q&A for material! I can cherry-pick from the exciting and wonderful FanGraphs Q&A questions and give them long and featured and pointless treatment over here on the home page.

Questions like: “Why do Chinese Food Leftovers Become Spicier the Longer they Sit in the Fridge?”

Answer: That’s not spice, that’s botulism.

Or: “What kind of SS or 3B would be a reasonable trade target for Chris Sale in a keeper league?”

Answer: Uh… nobody. I have Chris Sale in my Scoresheet league, and… I guess I’d have to be willing to trade him for Evan Longoria. Reluctantly, but I don’t know how I could pass up that deal. I wouldn’t trade him for, say, Asdrubal Cabrera or Elvis Andrus. I know he’s an injury risk, but his performance as a starter has been crazy. And there could be 15 more years of it. Of course there likely won’t be, but how many more valuable commodities are there than Sale? (I hear the Trade Value series is coming back soon, so I guess we’ll find out.)

Or: “The Notgraphs writers aren’t actually paid, are they?”

Answer: What a mean question. Why do you want to hurt our feelings?

In sum… no, I love FanGraphs Q&A. And the more features the dark overlords want to add to the site, the better, as far as I’m concerned. I’m waiting for the weekly FanGraphs crossword puzzle.*

*If anyone wants a FanGraphs crossword puzzle, point me to a solid (free) crossword creator on the web and I’ll make it happen.

Good luck,

Have a question for Ask NotGraphs!? Send! About baseball, not about baseball, doesn’t really matter, I’ll answer (almost) anything. E-mail me, or leave your question in the comments!

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

8 Responses to “Ask NotGraphs (#22)”

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  1. dp says:

    6 Across: Perry entrance style

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    • Jeremy Blachman says:

      That’s for a word search, not a crossword. But fun anyway. Look for Word Search #1 on Monday at 12:30, 30 secret words and phrases hidden inside.

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  2. MikeS says:


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  3. Chris says:

    Next time I order in Chinese food I’ll be sure to ask for ‘extra botulism’ on my General Tso’s Chicken

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  4. JRM says:

    Why wouldn’t you trade Sale for Andrus in your Scoresheet league? Consider: Andrus is an excellent young shortstop, Sale might be shut down, everyone will like you better and Appelman will pay you $22 a word. I say this as an unbiased observer, of course.

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