Ask NotGraphs (#25)

Dear Mr. Graphs,

I just woke up from a frankly disturbing dream. I was watching a Tigers-Royals game from behind the plate. The Royals were up, and Kelvin Herrera was the batter. He took a big swing, and I thought I heard the sound of a foul ball. But when I looked back, Herrera’s right knee had completely exploded, with horrifically jagged shards of bone sticking out in every direction. And to make matters worse, it was strike 3. Needless to say, everyone was a bit disturbed at the sight.

What could this dream mean? Was this a premonition?

Sleepless, but not in Seattle,
Big Daddy V

Big Daddy,

Herrera, for those who do not know, has the fastest average fastball in the majors this year, faster than Aroldis Chapman, six times faster than R.A. Dickey.

Which does not address your question.

Herrera has appeared as a hitter, according to his stats page here, exactly zero times in his professional career.

Which also does not address your question.

Especially since the Royals are unlikely to make the postseason, now or in the foreseeable future, Kelvin Herrera is unlikely to ever see a plate appearance. And to envision a situation where he bats against the Tigers is particularly difficult, barring managerial incompetence or a 46-inning game. So I do not think your dream is a premonition about a specific future event.

That said, I am not a dream weaver, or whatever it is you call someone who analyzes dreams.

So I do not know what your dream means. Although I wonder whether you went to sleep just after flipping channels between a baseball game and one of those live knee surgeries on the Discovery Health Channel, or a similar network.

Why doesn’t anyone e-mail easy questions about their girlfriends hating their fantasy teams, or how to get into law school?

Sweet dreams,

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Dear Mr. Blachman,
I married my wife 22 years ago, and she still doesn’t like baseball. Maybe next season? What’s your take?

Jeremy Blachman
Jeremy Blachman

Look for an answer in a future Ask NotGraphs column!

Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets
Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets

As far as Herrera batting vs the Tigers, I would like to point you to the May 19, 2008 game between the Texas Rangers and the Minnesota Twins. Relief Pitcher Bobby Korecky batted in that game.

The Twins pinch hit for Adam Everett and Alexi Casilla in the bottom of the 9th inning and tied the game. Then moved Brendan Harris from DH to SS in the 10th. Korecky came in to relieve an ineffective Juan Rincon in the top of the 11th and batted in the bottom of that inning (singled), then got the win after 12.


my girlfriend hates me. what do i do?