Ask NotGraphs (#29)

Konnichiwa,

Now that the Kansas City Royals have been eliminated from postseason contention, I find myself longing to root for a likable team that actually has a chance. Rather than divide my MLB loyalties, I would like to select a team from the NPB to support. Any ideas?

Dear either Mr. Neyer or Dr. Jazayerli (the only two remaining Royals fans in the world),

Apologies for not getting to your question until now. Based on the date of the Royals’ elimination from postseason contention, I believe you sent this one in March. Sorry about that.

As far as likeable [apparently likable and likeable are both acceptable spellings, according to the Internet] teams still in contention, may I offer you the Oakland A’s? Oops. I mean the Washington Nationals? Double oops. Wow, there really aren’t any likeable teams among the final four, are there?

The NPB it is!

And, having spent twenty minutes checking out the stats of all of the ex-major leaguers playing in the NPB, I have a feel-good story for you. Has there ever been a player more worth rooting for than Lastings Milledge? In his first year with the Yakult Swallows, he batted .300 with 21 homers and a respectable 57 walks in 546 plate appearances. And, as far as the Internet is aware, zero allegations of criminal or otherwise unsavory behavior.

So let’s go Yakult Swallows!

Good luck,
Jeremy

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


7 Responses to “Ask NotGraphs (#29)”

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  1. ElJosharino says:

    Sorry Royals fans, the Swallows were eliminated earlier this morning…

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  2. Bill says:

    The Swallows are the KC Royals of the NPB. What about the team that Bobby Valentine won with? The must be awesome.

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  3. Anon says:

    Why divide loyalties? Just cheer for MLB teams from Missouri. (One of which is still in contention.)

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  4. drtrix says:

    I believe Mr. Klaassen would like a word with you Jeremy.

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