Ask NotGraphs! (#32)

Dear NotGraphs,

What is your favorite Charlie Blackmon highlight from 2012?

Larson Systulli

Mr. Systulli,

Ah, yes, my cousin* who misspells his last name, Rockies OF Charlie Blackmon. Some very fine AAA performances the past two seasons, but not a lot to show for it in the majors yet. UZR does love his fielding though. Setting 100 innings as a minimum, he was second in the majors in UZR/150, just behind Anthony Gose. We’ll see if that continues. If it does, and he can recover some of the walks he lost between AAA and the majors… you never know.

For his season highlights, I think it might actually make best sense to turn to his Twitter feed, where he posts under the handle ChuckNazty. You’re just brimming with anticipation now, right? He seems fun. Presenting the top 5 contenders for top Charlie Blackmon highlight of 2012:

March 26: He went to Marshall’s.

May 26: He tried Southwest Sauce for the first time.

June 7: He took a five hour nap and watched Madagascar 2 in his underwear.

October 15: He wondered about soap.

November 1: He bought cupcakes.

(Lowlight of the year is no contest. October 27.)

I think the winner has to be five hour nap / Madagascar in his underwear. Right?

Good luck,

*Not my cousin, unfortunately.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

8 Responses to “Ask NotGraphs! (#32)”

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  1. Pinstripe Wizard says:

    Madagascar and underwear does sound like a quite enjoyable day. I might have to do that this weekend.

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  2. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Excellence in the art of living.

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  3. DP says:

    In 2005, Mike Cameron and Carlos Beltran collided face-first at full speed into one another, resulting in a horrifying accident that ended both of their seasons. In an alternate universe that I visited recently while traveling with The Doctor, this collision occurred but had the side effect of melding Cameron and Beltran into a single person. As I left before seeing what “Miguel CamarĂ³n” was capable of, I’ve been left to wonder: what would such a player’s batting line look like?

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  4. Semi Pro says:

    Is a 5 hour nap really a nap? Anything over 45 minutes is just “going back to sleep,” right?

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    • Pinstripe Wizard says:

      That depends on how much sleep you get every night. Anything less than half the average amount of sleep you get should be considered a nap. Since he might not get to the park before 2:00 some days, he could swing 12 hours of sleep a day.

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  5. robertobeers says:

    Unlike my reaction after pouring a bowl of Raisin Bran substitute, I was pleaseantly surprised to find six (6) tweets in your top five (5). Thanks (thx) Carson (ptbnl).

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