Ask NotGraphs!

Print This Post

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

21 Responses to “Ask NotGraphs!”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Sorry, I have no time to read your petty words as I practice gurgling the phrase “#KeepNotGraphs” with what liquid remained at the bottom of this here bottle of whiskey.

    You did this to me, NotGraphs.

    +22 Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Seriously. #KeepNotGraphs says:

    It’s definitely Bud Selig’s fault. In fact, all of these are Bud Selig’s fault.

    +20 Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Yirmiyahu says:

    Hey, I have a question for Ask Notgraphs: where the hell did Dayn Perry go? That sociopath’s brilliant prose is at least half the reason we need to #KeepNotGraphs.

    +20 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • We'll make our own NotGraphs says:

      I happen to possess a signed copy of Mr. Perry’s chapbook. Here is the endearing inscription he wrote:

      For Clark Fuck –

      Blargh Blargh shit fuck
      cock tacos…

      Dayn Perry (signature)

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. NotGraphsForeverCistulliNever says:


    In some universe, NotsGraphs never dies. Make it this universe.

    +19 Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. dang says:

    Dear NotGraphs,

    Where do good baseball comedy blogs go when they die?



    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. nickolai says:

    wtf?! I just woke up. where the hell is NotGraphs going?!

    +8 Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. MikeS says:


    +10 Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. dang says:

    Question 2:

    Dear NotGraphs,

    What does major league baseball have planned for your retirement tour?



    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Kris says:

    Dear NotGraphs,

    Can you make a supercut of Cistulli’s recent podcast utterances…

    A) Sometimes you must watch out because they will turn on you and gleefully rake you over the coals

    B) When I read the comments and someone doesn’t like what I’ve written, It hurts my insides and makes me sad

    Because that would be a great supercut. I don’t know what you’d lay the audio over, but I hear a lot of the world war two footage involving hitler is now in the public domain, free and clear of copyright.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Urban Shocker says:

    Rotographs is next. You heard it here first. Then you can look forward to 30 articles a day on catcher framing and AAV.
    #KeepNotGraphs #BoogerGifsBringWorldPeaceAndDaisies

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. Abdi LaRue says:

    Dear Notgraphs,
    Do you take your wrestling mask and boxing gloves off before you go to bed?
    Abdi LaRue
    San Diego, CA

    +11 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • StrongGraphs says:

      Well that’s a stupid question, Abdi. Do you take off your face and hands before you go to bed? And if so, are you some kind of robot? And if so, what kind of powers do you have? Do you use them for good, or for awesome? Would you like to join forces? I just happen to be the greatest criminal mind of our time.


      Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. chris says:

    Can we get at least one more Dayn and Carson podcast?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • DavidJ says:

      I don’t think the end of NotGraphs means the end of Dayn Perry editions of FanGraphs Audio. At least I assume it doesn’t, anyway. Though it would mean that question-submission for QUESTION TIME (dun dun dun dun dun) episodes would have to take place elsewhere.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. BbnT says:

    Dear NotGraphs,

    Rable Rable Rable

    No time to sign

    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>