Assigning Nicknames to Select NotGraphs Contributors

In the service of tabling more pressing obligations, I present to you a smattering of nicknames that would be applied to the following NotGraphs contributors, were their skills and essences — such as they are — applied to the playing of this, our baseball, rather than to the befouling of it.

Please regard:

– Michael Bates: “Vicious Delicious”
– Eno Sarris: “Pol Pot the Pederast”
– Bradley Woodrum: “Hound Pastor”
– David G. Temple: “Bible Made of Lasers”
– Carson Cistulli: “Heart Cancer”
– Robert J. Baumann: “If Wizards Were a Gender Unto Themselves”
– Mississippi Matt Smith: “Poo That Smells Like Boogers; Boogers That Smell Like Poo”
– Zach Reynolds: “Fred Brown”
– Patrick Dubuque: “Glum, Confounded Chicken”
– Navin Vaswani: “Sack”

I encourage the readers — both of you — to nominate your own nicknames for the Moron of the High Plains who authored this dumb post.

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

42 Responses to “Assigning Nicknames to Select NotGraphs Contributors”

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  1. Dave says:

    The Bloody Stools. The Fighting Mics. The Mad Bros…

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Rickie Weeks Impending Jheri Curl says:

    Dayn Perry- “Malignant Cherub”

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. jwise224 says:

    Dayn Perry – Sadness, Reincarnated

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Schwartz says:

    “Old Aspergillus Face”

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. dbake005 says:

    Matt Smith’s is a palindrome I like it

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  6. dbake005 says:

    Dayn Midwestern Tropical Fury Perry

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. dbake005 says:

    Carson Cistulli poutine tame ask me again and I’ll tell you the same Carson Cistulli poutine ta…..

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. vc says:

    supple. yet, taut

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Bitter Beane says:

    T. Pickaxe, The Naked Manikin, Soviet Era Greenhorn, Flumoxed Rustler, Roaches in the Mattress, Spartacus’s Childhood, Elijah Dukes’ White Friend.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Programme says:

    Navin Vaswani- Saack

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. Lenny says:

    Beat Off

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. Dang says:

    Juicy poo ninja

    Delicious little flavor nugget

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. Jay29 says:

    Cook Refrigerator

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. tz says:

    Meaty Urologist

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. olethros says:

    The Chocolate Starfish Stares Back

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. Mr. Observant, Misanthrope says:

    Why is there a .gif of Appelman shedding one perfectly formed tear at the onset of this piece of true scholarship? Also, Sodomite Starkitty.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. robertobeers says:

    Occam’s Pubic Razor

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. Rich Mahogany says:

    Nebulous Dentist

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  19. Youthful Enthusiast says:

    If there’s one thing NotGraphs is good at, it’s usernames/nicknames.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. Helladecimal says:

    Rueful Ragpicker

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. John W. says:


    Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. Resolution says:

    Dayn ‘the stye of CBS’ eye on baseball, the home for all baseball fans’ Perry

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  23. Chris K says:

    Dayn and then he Ravished Me-rry

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  24. Mike Green says:

    Mr. Katy

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  25. Kris says:

    Dayn, this is probably the wrong form to address this, but if you could explain to your wife that the app for temporary photos is snapchat and not instagram, it would drastically cut down on the amount of sepia-toned vagina on the internet.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  26. tz says:

    Large Palau Flying Fox

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  27. Banned in the EU says:

    Consumer of Ortolans

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  28. Mr. Smooth says:


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  29. Captain Obvious says:

    Dayn “This Post Has Been Removed By the Administrator” Perry

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  30. Dwayne Carter says:

    dayn “hmm, it takes all types. this flashlight only takes D batteries.” perry

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  31. Jenstrom says:

    Dayn Perry: Pascal’s Wedgie

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  32. Jenstrom says:

    Deep-fried Goofball, Sexy Sauce on the Side

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  33. We'll make our own NotGraphs says:

    The guy who kept Notgraphs alive

    Vote -1 Vote +1