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Awful Alex Rios is Awful in So Many Ways

I live-blogged Wednesday night’s thrashing of the Chicago White Sox by the New York Yankees for Canadian sports broadcasting titan The Score. It was good times: I discovered, and documented, Eric Chavez’s Comeback ‘Stache, and was reminded what an absolute bloody nightmare it is to watch Alex Rios play baseball.

In the third inning, the White Sox already down 10-1, Mark Teixeira sent a line-drive into center field. Rios, in oblivious, Rios-like, head case fashion, charged the ball. It went right by him, of course. (This is after Rios misplayed a Curtis Granderson fly ball in the first inning, too, letting it drop in front of him.) The photograph above is of Rios racing  all the way to the wall to retrieve the baseball he so badly misplayed. Not in a dead sprint, with his head down, oh no, but leisurely, Rios even looking back to see if Teixeira was trying to gallop all the way home for an inside the park job.

Teixeira didn’t, and ended up at third base. Somehow, Rios wasn’t charged with an error on the play. The box score’s play-by-play reads:

M. Teixeira tripled to shallow center, B. Gardner and D. Jeter scored.

Yeah, no. That was an error if I’d ever seen one. Even in a 10-1 game. Nobody “triples” to shallow center field. Frankly, I was surprised that Ozzie Guillen didn’t a) immediately pull Rios from the game, and b) drag Rios by the ear from center field to first base, and beat him with Adam Dunn. Ozzie needed a drink last night. In the worst way. Poor Ozzie.

Things Alex Rios is Thinking

Anyway: Rios. One of the South Side’s favorite suns. Our intrepid NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed, through telepathy I assume, the thoughts that were racing through Rios’ head, a lot faster than he was physically racing, as he “ran” down Teixeira’s “triple.”

1. Do I have to? I have to, don’t I?

2. Who gives a fuck?! (Editor’s note: He was actually singing  this.)

3. At least I’m hitting .200.

4. On the other hand, if Teixeira hits an inside the park home run, I’ll probably make the highlights.

5. They think Dunn hates baseball.

If you’re looking for more Rios bashing, the Chicago Tribune’s Steve Rosenbloom has you covered, with his aptly titled piece, “Bring me the head of Alex Rios.

Image credit: Reuters, via daylife.