Ballplayers Whose Names Are Also Danish Ejaculations

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Anyone whose family, or who he himself, purchased an Apple-brand computer anytime before, say, 1995 will likely have more than a passing knowledge of the genre commonly known as edutainment, a very specific sort of software program that, in striving to provide users with content that is both educational and entertaining, typically provides neither.

That fact having being established, allow the author to announce that, in every relevant way — both in that it is neither very educational nor very entertaining — the present post is a goddamn exemplar of the edutainment genre.

What follows is a collection of five baseball players (most past, one present) whose names most resemble popular Danish ejaculations — at least so far Wiktionary has led the author to believe.

Readers can use this post to both not learn Danish and also learn very little about baseball!

Player: Willie Horton (Profile)
Who He Was: Mostly Tigers outfielder, 1963-1980
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Hørt! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Hear, hear!

Player: Denny Lortscher (Profile)
Who He Was: Minor-league pitcher, 1963-1969
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Lort! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Crap! Shit!

Player: Laynce Nix (Profile)
Who He Is: Major-league outfielder since 2003
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Nix! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: No! No way!

Player: Shet Pojda (Profile)
Who He Was: Indy league player in Providence, 1948
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Pøj! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Yuck!

Player: Joe Skalski (Profile)
Who He Was: Mostly minor-league pitcher, 1986-1990
Relevant Danish Ejaculation: Skål! (Real Dictionary Entry)
Meaning: Cheers!

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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

15 Responses to “Ballplayers Whose Names Are Also Danish Ejaculations”

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  1. dbake005 says:

    Hall of fame title.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Danny Knobgobbler says:

    brun printshop

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  3. Jason Nix says:

    What about Lance Nix’s brother Jason Nix?


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  4. Anonymous Bosch says:

    Jan Svensson Spreading the Water of Life into an Alpenhorn

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  5. canuckassassin says:

    This entry is a proverbial Danish Bukkake

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Evan says:

    I thought this post was going to involve pastry.

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  7. Dauber says:

    Expected former Sox pitcher Gar Finnvold to be mentioned. I have actually yelled his name in anger. And on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

    Both were satisfying.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. TKDC says:

    Not what I expected from a joke about Shet Pojda’s name.

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  9. Fernando Tatis says:

    Relevant Finnish ejaculation: Tattis
    Meaning: Thanks!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. Wally Pipp says:

    Relevant Faroese ejaculation: Pipp
    Meaning: Tweet!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. Aubrey Huff says:

    Relevant Norwegian ejaculation: Huff!
    Meaning: expression of minor revulsion, minor horror

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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