Balls Against Humanity

Sadly, the offseason is winding down, and soon enough it’ll be back to the drudgery of actual baseball. But before that happens, let’s take a minute to review the action of the last few months, with the help of Balls Against Humanity — the new game with the stupid name, that promises fun for your whole family! (Provided you have a family of perverts.)

Rules: Balls Against Humanity is exactly the same as the conveniently copyright-free game Cards Against Humanity — only, it’s all about baseball. So, just choose the card from your “hand” that best fits each prompt!


The Yankees spent $155 million to bring ___ over from Japan.


Torii Hunter was photographed kissing ___.


On February 6, baseball mourned the death of ___.


Clayton Kershaw received ___ from the Los Angeles Dodgers.


In his first year of eligibility, Greg Maddux entered ___.


Livan Hernandez recently announced his ___.


During a winter storm in Atlanta, Chipper Jones rescued Freddie Freeman from ___.


Prince Fielder was traded to the Rangers for ___.


Doctors discovered ___ in Mike Minor’s urethra.


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9 Responses to “Balls Against Humanity”

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  1. tz says:

    Greg Maddux + Queen Elizabeth II = some impeccably controlled progeny.

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  2. Sean C says:

    My favorite cards from this game are not shown… unquestionably due to their proclivity for offending people.

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  3. Anon says:

    I’m surprised it took Livan so long, we all figured he had cybernetic enhancements. How else could he stay in the league so long?

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  4. Umpire Weekend says:

    Funky fresh rhymes.
    Fear itself.
    Nipple blades.
    African children.
    An erection that lasts longer than four hours.
    Farting and walking away (OVERALL WINNER)
    The light of a billion suns.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. frivoflava29 says:

    I think anyone who’s ever been 18-21 and gotten drunk with friends in the last 5-10 years would say this is my favorite NotGraphs

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  6. LightRocket says:

    During a winter storm in Atlanta, Chipper Jones rescued Freddie Freeman from a time travel paradox.

    Please, someone, make this movie.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. triple_r says:

    Am I the only one whose deck has, like, ten extra “Historically Black Colleges” cards?

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  8. Lance Armstrong says:

    You mother fucker

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  9. Matthew Murphy says:

    Think Kershaw definitely received a gentle caress of the inner thigh from the Dodgers, probably right after he signed his extension.

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