Bartolo Colón Surrounded by a Colon
Maker of love, babies and fine cabinetry Robert J. Baumann passes along what follows, which is, as the title of this breathless dispatch suggests, Bartolo Colón surrounded by a colon …
Sure, we could have spared you the distressing visuals and instead surrounded Mr. Colón by the punctuational colon (pictured here: :, with this text added in advance of the closing parenthesis so as not to inflict an emoticon upon the unsuspecting reader), but we at NotGraphs have never been one to shy away from the visceral and corporeal. So what you see is Bartolo Colón surrounded by a human colon, the disemboweled colon of David Appelman, it turns out.
Did Bartolo Colón somehow vanquish David Appelman? Of course not. David Appelman, in the service of human amusements, ripped out his own colon, placed it around Bartolo Colón’s neck in a perfect and ceremonial double-windsor knot, polished off a vast belt of scotch and a plate of gorilla legs, and then punched his way out of the county jail.
I believe NotGraphs has reached its apex.
I believe NotGraphs has reached its sphincter.
I’m still waiting for a picture of a colon (punctuation) surrounded by a colon (organ).
I’m waiting for these pictures to get increasingly ‘meta’ to the point where it’s a picture of Bartolo Colon surrounding a picture of Bartolo Colon with colons…whatever that means…
David Appelman’s life was commemorated in the classic Hong Kong arthouse thriller, The Ballad of Ricki O. An unflinching look at the life and times of the great man, it was deemed too realistic for Reagan-era American viewers, and found a home in Hong Kong, where it was immediately hailed as a classic of global cinema.
corporeal & corpulent!
If words could speak, I still would have nothing to say.
you knew this was coming… but still effected my life deeply when it did.
i am in nirvana
It allows him to eat more.
Wow… It also looks like he’s in an 80′s rap video.
If this isn’t J. G. Taylor Spink Award worthy, i don’t know what is.
This brings up the question: was it David Appelman’s stem cells that returned Bartolo Colon to pitching success?
Bartolo Colon is very large.
How large is he?
He is so large that this piece should be entitled, A Colon Surrounded by Bartolo Colon.
Request: David Appelman surrounded by Apple Men. And for him to have his colon back.
The restraint showed in this post is beyond my comprehension. There’s no possible way that I could have stopped myself from taking this WAY too far.
I’ve literally got another tab open right now with a google-image search showing Katie Couric’s colonoscopy. I can’t even stop myself from looking.
Are we admitting that Coco Crisp is too easy?
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=cocoa+crisps&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&biw=1472&bih=930&tbm=isch&tbnid=vXDuBP6eX_DzGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.drunkenbleachers.com/blog/2006/01/johnny-who.html&docid=luzd48q6xTlFjM&imgurl=http://www.drunkenbleachers.com/images/blog/coco_crisp.jpg&w=375&h=335&ei=5e-nT-WIGauE0QG445DhBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=621&vpy=432&dur=4212&hovh=212&hovw=238&tx=115&ty=70&sig=102115197983481207786&page=1&tbnh=131&tbnw=144&start=0&ndsp=33&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0,i:105
How about Milton Bradley surrounded by Candyland, Operation, and Battleship?
Brandon Lyon surrounded by some combination of OJ Simpson/Bill Clinton/representatives of Pakistan
Break the mold: a lake with the heads of Mike Trout, Mike Carp, and Anthony Bass popping out of the water.