Baseball Card Tournament – Brusstar vs Winfield
We’re not going to break new tournament ground here. No number one seeds went down, and though Steve Bedrosian was huggable, the Mad Hungarian won out.
So now we’re on to the two seeds. And now an upset becomes more likely. Especially when the high seed looks like he’s sitting on the toilet.
#2. 1989 Topps Dave Winfield
You ain’t got nothin, little man. Me and my humpback smile dismissively at you. You ever hear my Jerry Lewis impression? M’glavin! I got this floating cap trick too, let me turn it around and try to get this right. But baseball card tourney? Whatever. I can hit 25 jacks sitting on the john. In conclusion, in the immortal words of Peter Gammons, mmmplops.
#7. 1981 Topps Warren Brusstar
I am serious about this. Does not my furrowed unibrow express exactly how serious I’m taking this? I’m a graduate, man. You can see it on the back of my card: Napa (Calif.) Junior College. I’m a sstar. You know how you get a streak of 104 straight homerless innings going? By taking this sh*t serious, man. Even my goddang chest hair is busting out, ready to take this sucker on. Let’s go.
Brusstar’s got this.
Indeed he does. But don’t call it an upset. Winfield was ranked way too high.
Brusstar has to win this one. That mustache/unibrow combo along with what appears to be some version of a mullet is too powerful to pass up.
Brusstar for the win. Although I did enjoy the mmmplops reference, the angry expression takes the cake.
Winfield, easy.
How did Winfield become #2 in the first place? He’s not even in uniform. At first you think those shoulders are broad enough to carry a city’s hopes & dreams, but then you remember it’s the 80′s and those are shoulder pads.
Winfield, because I like to think he is watching David Price play with a hand puppet.
http://www.fangraphs.com/not/index.php/photo-david-price-and-hand-puppet/
Also because he looks like someone is playing a funny on him by trying to put the hat on his head without him noticing. The distance between his chin and the top of the cap is the same as his chin and the bottom of the picture. That is more impressive than whatever Brusstar has in his cheek.
The easiest way to compare two cards is to decide which photo is more likely to speak in third person. In this case, the winner’s easy: “Dave Winfield just killed a goddamn seagull and he aint got no remorse”
UPSET CITY
BRUSSTAR TAKES IT
Brusstar!
Brusstar!
Brusstar
brusstar