Baseball Card Tourney: Eckersley vs Felton

Last week’s matchup was the blowout that you’d expect with a #1 seed in the first round, and we’ll have to call it: 1981 Topps Rollie Fingers has roundly defeated 1981 Topps Rich Gale despite username “Mac” and his strong support for Mr. Gale. Now it’s time to move to another conference and check out a similar blowout-ready clash.

As always, vote as you see fit. Although your biased tournament president only sees one ending to THIS matchup.

#8. 1983 Fleer Terry Felton
Did you know? I was the strikeout leader in Toledo in 1981! 99 of em! I played football in high school, too. I was the second overall pick! My eyes are clear, my heart is full, I can’t lose. Look at the hopefulness in my gaze. Look at the anticipation. Do you want to crush this? I’m on my way!

#1. 1981 Fleer Dennis Eckersley
Motherf-er I don’t give a crap about your hopeful gaze. I crush three hopeful gazes before breakfast. I got your full heart right here, you know what I’m saying? I’m 26, have 89 wins and a 3.29 career ERA. I’ll whiff my thousandth on the mound this year and get a few phone numbers while I’m doing it. I’m a young man in my prime, there’s no way you can stop me. Look at my goddamn mustache.

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Graphs: Baseball, Roto, Beer, brats (OK, no graphs for that...yet), repeat. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.

25 Responses to “Baseball Card Tourney: Eckersley vs Felton”

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  1. Yirmiyahu says:


    He’s had the same hair & moustache for 35 years.

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  2. glassSheets says:

    Bonus points for wearing a baby blue shirt under navy. Points for having a blonde perm.

    Felton looks like he was just told there are free hot dogs and gummy bears in the clubhouse. Eck looks like he’s trying to divide 47,365 by 19. Gummy bears trumps math. Felton in the upset.

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    • Yirmiyahu says:

      You’re doing it all wrong. You DEDUCT points for the baby blue undershirt and the blonde perm.

      And Eck doesn’t look like he’s doing math. He looks like he’s trying to shoot laser beam knives out of his eyes and through someone’s neck. Because they smiled at him.

      I agree with you about Felton and the gummy bears, though.

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      • glassSheets says:

        From the original post
        “but we will focus on the value provided by the player’s dress, facial hair, cultural artifacts and the quality of card’s artistic expression thereof”

        I find great value in baby blue under navy and a blonde perm. Besides, you show me that picture of Eck and I couldn’t tell if it was taken last year or 1981. I see Felton and I stand up to shout “come look at this 80’s Twins dude with a blonde perm. Does anyone have gummy bears?”

        Felton is inspiring. Maybe it is because Eck is wearing the plain white “BOS TON” unis, but I find myself indifferent to what the card is feeling. Felton makes me want to play some catch.

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        • Eno Sarris says:

          I want to let you guys decide, but I’ll have to say I don’t agree that the Eck card could be taken at any time. I think it looks like an iconic late 70s/early 80s picture, and his youth screams fire.

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          • glassSheets says:

            I will concede that Eck looks younger in the card than I previously gave him credit for. I googled some of his later cards, man did he age more than I thought.

            Maybe Eck played for so long with the same look that I don’t associate that hair/mustache combo with the late 70’s/early 80’s, but I associate it with Eck himself.

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      • Erik Archer says:

        Terry get’s points for being a man named Terry, for perhaps being a hobo, and probably having a shotgun.

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  3. KyleL says:

    Definitely gotta go with Eck. Look at that “moss”!

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  4. G says:

    Eck. The green bird shit on his jersey seals the W.

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  5. JR says:

    Eckersley wins by being visibly hung over

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  6. therood says:


    The “B” on his cap stands for “Breaking your face if you look at me again.”

    Felton is a little leaguer by comparison. He may actually have been a little leaguer.

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  7. Matt says:

    Terry Felton! I love gummy bears

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  8. filihok says:

    Have to vote for Eck, because if I don’t I fear he will come and disembowel me during the night.

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  9. fly eli says:

    eck, for the feathered hair over the ears and slight greasiness.

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  10. Several thoughts:

    1) Felton’s baby-blue shirt matches what appears to be his baby-blue pants. Standard issue uniform. No points awarded.

    2) Felton has what looks to be paint on his left arm. Points awarded.

    3) Each time I look at Felton I expect him to be missing a tooth. He isn’t, but points awarded in any case.

    4) Eckersley has, I believe, guacamole below the “O” in “BOSTON” on his uniform jersey. Points awarded.

    5) That is not Eckersley’s hair, it is clearly part of his hat. You know, like those hats that come with dreadlocks. No points awarded.

    6) Judging by its condition and high crown, Eckersley’s hat was purchased has at a truck stop, on the rack next to dusty bottles of STP and cheap plastic ice scrapers. Points awarded.

    7) Eckersley’s head is off center. Obviously he’s in middle of that “Na-AH!” thing that people do. Points awarded.

    My vote goes to: Duh. Eckersley. Who the F is Terry Felton?

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  11. Larry Bird says:

    Clearly my vote goes for Terry Felton!

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  12. Jack Sikma says:

    Another vote for Terry Felton here!

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  13. Cuban Pete says:

    That isn’t Eck – it’s Jim Carrey wearing an Eck disguise.
    But it is the man and the myth of the Twin Cities: Felton, Terry.

    Like a warm bathrobe on a cold Saturday morning: Terry Felton.
    Terry looks like my wife if she were, y’know, male and all.

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  14. Double J says:

    Gotta be Eck.
    He has a death glare like he just found out a teammate was sleeping with his wife. (Too soon?)

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  15. My vote says:


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  16. nubillybaroo says:

    who is that drifter in a red sox uni?

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