Baseball Players And Their Wives, Captioned

Sports Illustrated has released a photo slideshow of some athletes and their wives and/or girlfriends back in the 1990s. Despite the use of the word “athlete,” we actually see some baseball players in here as well. Here are the ones you need to see:

Steve and Heather Avery

Steve is seen here sporting what is known in some circles as a “Cosby Sweater,” after the comedian Bill Cosby and his colorful wardrobe. With the Froot Loops they buy in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, Steve receives a very different Cosby Sweater later that night.

Jeff and Cindy Conine.

Given the attire Cindy chose to wear to the racquetball court, it is understandable how Jeff could mistake her for the ball on his initial swing. Luckily, Jeff is able to recover from his misplay in time.

Chuck Knoblauch and Lisa Knoblauch.

Chuck is convinced it was Lisa’s week to bring the chess board to the park. Lisa, used to Chuck’s absent-mindedness, just doesn’t have the heart to tell him he is incorrect.

John and Kelly Olerud.

John and Kelly gaze in bewilderment as the amazingly futuristic device before them displays “32768 KB OK – - -”.

Randy and Lisa Johnson.

Randy and Lisa’s daughter Samantha discovers her father’s finger is in fact an extremely delicious hot dog.

Roger and Debbie Clemens.

Despite Debbie’s insistence that she is not actually a Pez dispenser, Roger remains convinced of the contrary.

David and Lynn Cone – Athletes and their WAGs: ’90s Edition – Photos – SI.com.

David and Lynn are just as surprised as you are that this is the most normal-looking picture in the group.

Jose and Jessica Canseco..

I don’t have anything for this one because I’m afraid Jose would hunt me down and kill me if I even remotely made a joke about his wife, regardless of how long they’ve been divorced. Please don’t hurt me.




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Jack Moore's work can be seen at VICE Sports and anywhere else you're willing to pay him to write. Buy his e-book.


7 Responses to “Baseball Players And Their Wives, Captioned”

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  1. nubillybaroo says:

    love those $150 Reebok pumps… Avery is radical, dude.

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  2. MikeS says:

    Yes, PEZ. That is exactly what those little tablets in Roger’s locker are. PEZ.

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  3. Yirmiyahu says:

    That Steve Avery picture is incredbile. The sneakers. The black jeans. The tucked-in Cosby sweater. The collared shirt sticking out. The mullet. The deal on paper towels.

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  4. glassSheets says:

    If Randy Johnson is still married, his use of Just For Men in order to get young coeds to do his yard work is questionable.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q80YF__M3A

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  5. Resolution says:

    all of these people are dressed as if this was during their special guest appearance on an episode of Seinfeld.

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