Baseball Withdrawl Antidote: Andrelton Simmons

In my corner of America’s Middle-West, the leaves are falling with great frequency. There is also snow on the ground. If anyone needed a reminder of the demise of Summer, one need not look farther than my sprawling plot of God’s country. Certainly, the absence of Major League Baseball serves as another chilling reminder that — as I read in a book once — Winter is Coming. According to the Gregorian calendar, it is already here.

The popular Internet website “YouTube”, a video hosting and streaming service, is powered by a vast and powerful network of silicon and electricity. While it is possible for these machines to know a certain date numerically, the feel of a date is unknowable to these robots. How does one explain a gentle snowfall in bleeps and bloops? One cannot. Because of this fact, however, popular Internet website YouTube doesn’t know it isn’t baseball season. Therefore, it offers the embedded video without prejudice. And for that, we can be thankful. Hang tight, fair NotGraphs readers. We’ll get through this together. Unless I — or one of you — die. Then we most likely have bigger problems.

(h/t to ESPN’s Mark Simmon for the link.)

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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

18 Responses to “Baseball Withdrawl Antidote: Andrelton Simmons”

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  1. Eminor3rd says:

    Whaaaa did he just field a routine ground ball and gun down Prince Fielder at the plate?! Waaaaaaa

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    • Anon21 says:

      If you’re making fun of a telecaster, I heartily approve. If you are in any way casting aspersions on the nigh-divine defensive abilities of one Andrelton Adenolith Simmons, I will cleave your insolent tongue from your worthless head.

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  2. 7 Unassisted says:

    Porn I can watch in public

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    • TKDC says:

      Derek Jeter watching this video is like a regular dude watching a video where a hot girl happens by his place, with her equally hot friend, and they just start going at it.

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  3. Freddie Freeman says:

    Scoops, folks.

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  4. Z..... says:

    the sick thing is that there are plenty more unreal plays that he made throughout the year. lol he’s just so ridiculous. I personally consider it a joke that he didnt win that DOPY award they gave out tonight, but honestly, who really pays attention to that stuff anyway

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    • Z..... says:

      I’m not trying to take anything away from Gerardo Parra, but it should be obvious that Simmons should have been the choice

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      • Antonio Bananas says:

        Simmons makes things look too easy. It’s a joke how many people don’t know just how good Simmons is. Maybe he should start taking bad routes and diving and catching the ball with this bare hand like David Wright to convince people he’s good.

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  5. BalkingHeads says:

    Dem relay throws. Wow.

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  6. triple_r says:

    What is this popular internet website you speak of, this “Ewe toob” or what have you?

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  7. Daniel says:

    The Play at 13:54 I remember didn’t make web gems ha… and I said how stupid.. This kid just goes and does things other players can’t

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  8. Daniel says:

    My favorite play all year by anybody I saw Simmons do in person. Where He was out of position and expecting the bunt where the pitcher pulled it back and swung.. He then turned that into a 6-3 DP reversing position

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  9. me says:

    Chip Caray is such a goober

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  10. Z..... says:

    getting that recognition he clearly deserves with that platinum glove

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  11. Stan says:

    “What’s with the smattering of applause from the opposing home team’s fans? They must not be paying attention.”

    God, even the Braves announcers are so Braves-y.

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